FallenAngel

Every little task that use to come so naturally to me now seems like a mountain I must climb.  I had to go to the bank and the post office yesterday and it's like I'd never done it before.  So I...

Well, I didn't make it to work again today.  Some mornings the grief is just too overwhelming and I can't force myself right now.  I have to let the grief come and work it's way with me.  It's...

Didn't get on to journal last night.  I was so tired after counseling then my son called from work and I could tell right away something was wrong.  He came over after work around 9:30 and just...

Made it through work.  Think I'll give myself some flowers today.  When my husband died, his doctor told me to make sure I got my son into see her because of the family history of coronary...

I literally cried all day yesterday, and I'm not feeling that much better this morning. It would be so easy to just crawl back into bed and stay there for the day.  So much easier than getting...

I woke up crying this morning and don't know why.  I miss Gene so much, especially on the weekends.  He would wake up early and make coffee, then bring me a cup when it was ready and kiss me good...

It's overcast here this morning and dreary.  Hope the sun breaks through soon.  I have no energy and no desire to do what I know needs to get  done.  How do I go on just for myself?  Everything...

I'm so tired this morning.  Cried alot last night.  Crying now too.  This isn't how it was supposed to be.  Gene and I were going to grow old together, walking this road hand in hand.  Now I'm...

I want to feel Gene's arms around me.  I miss him so badly I can barely stand it. 

OK.  Made it through another day of work, only two more to go for the week.  I'm doing better tonight than I have in over a month.  My godson just called to say he's decided to become a nursing...

Made it through another day at work.  Wow, that's two this week.  Small steps are so rewarding right now.  I can't get through a day without crying.  My heart feels so empty.  I'm not getting...

I made it through work yesterday, but came home and cried.  I've been crying everday since I lost Gene.  My whole world feels turned upside down.  Just going to work is a struggle everyday.  I...

OK.  So I made it to work this morning and I'm so bored I could cry.  This seems so pointless coming in and sitting here, but I have to keep telling myself their paying me and providing me with...

How could I not have known something was wrong with Gene?  How could I not have seen this coming?  Was I so absorbed in the world around me that I missed the most important thing, Gene's health? ...

I was so looking forward to today.  I really thought that the walk would lift my spirits and least for a ltitle while.  But I found myself anxious and sad.  It so hard to watch people go through...