How could I not have known something was wrong with Gene?  How could I not have seen this coming?  Was I so absorbed in the world around me that I missed the most important thing, Gene's health?  I'm beating myself up for the things I didn't see, didn't do. I knew he wasn't sleeping very well, but I never imagined it could have been a sign that something was going on.  I knew he wasn't taking his medicines, but I couldn't make him see how important it was.  He kept saying they upset his stomach and he felt fine without them.  By the time I finally got him to go see the doctor, it was too little, too late.  He told her he was having episodes of shortness of breath, but he didn't tell me.  She told him to take it easy and go see his cardiologist.  What did he do?  Went to work.  If he had gone to his cardiologist, maybe he'd still be here, maybe not.  But he was so stubborn.  The only person who could ever get him to do anything was his Mom, and she was gone so I couldn't even call her and have her talk to him.  We had an argument about him being stubborn just weeks before he died.  My only solace in all this is that he lived his life to the fullest everyday he was here.  I don't believe he knew this was going to happen.  I believe he felt invincible, as most men do.  But he wasn't, and now he's gone.  Could I have done something differently?  Was I so blind that I didn't see?