CJAngel
Status: And down again.
Mood:
Horrible
Offline
- My girlfriend made a few new friends. I love it that she was able to reach out and meet new people. She told them about me. She made me out to be this amazing, strong person. That's the girl I used to be. I feel like she lied to them. That was me...
- I talked to her. I told her about the things going through my head. I told her about my thoughts of suicide over break. She took away my knife. Probably a good thing. I haven't talked about it with her for about a week now. But when she notices I've...
- I keep waking up at odd hours of the night. I know I'm having nightmares because I wake up breathless and in a cold sweat. Past few nights, I've been in tears. The problem, though, is that I can't remember what I've dreamt. I haven't been able to...
- What if I wake up one day and forget about all the people who love me? What if that's not enough to hold me up anymore? My thoughts slip more and more everyday. I don't know how much longer I can live with this pain. My sister notices something is...
- I found my division. The division I was supposed to graduate with. I was supposed to go to A-School with some of those people. And now here I sit. I feel like such a failure. I told some of those girls, I said straight to them, "Just hold on. If we...
- My roommates thought my sleep issue (I've only been sleeping maybe 3-4 hours the last 8 months) had to do with my surroundings. It started in boot camp, which is expected. Then I was discharged and stayed with my best friend for a few weeks. I was...
- Since the thought of self-harming or suicide have crossed through my mind. Five or more years. But I couldn't stop them today. I don't know what's going on with me. Shouldn't I be happy? It's almost Christmas. I'm with my family, the only place I...
- Thought I had food poisoning for the last 3 days. Turns out, after writhing on the floor in pain and being dragged to the hospital, I have a parasite. Just what I wanted during finals week. E-mailed one professor...even though I wasn't able to make...
- I haven't slept well in 7 months. I'm getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Even taking pills doesn't help. I was taking benadryl. 100mg of it a night. It doesn't work anymore. Trying sleep aid, but that hasn't worked well for me either. I'm getting...
- I was diagnosed about 6 months ago while in basic training for the Navy. Along with the Dysthymia, they informed me that I show signs of borderline personality disorder. They immediately sent me home. Upon arriving home, I was offered a place to...
- I feel like I'm going no where in life. I feel like I'm stuck. But I've already accomplished so much. Right now, it all feels so worthless. People tell me I need to stop worrying so much. Is there an off switch for that? Cuz I can't seem to quit. I...
- My roommates decided today was gonna be a cleaning day. When I got up to do the dishes, they pretty much told me that my help wasn't wanted. So I'm sitting here in bed, just reading. I feel like I should be down there. It just seems that since I was...
- Been in school for 4 weeks. We've had police and ambulances in here at least 10 times since school started. Heard gunshots tonight. I swear, it's like I'm back living on the east side of Buffalo again. And according to school policies, we're not...
- I can't hardly sleep anymore. Even if I go to sleep early. Last night, I took two benadryl to help me sleep. This morning, I woke up and I just don't want to do anything. I don't know what's going on. I know I have insomnia, but it hasn't gotten...
- I live in a house with four other girls. One is my girlfriend. One is my baby sister/best friend. I can't talk to them. I can't seem to tell them how I feel. I've become closed off. Sometimes even hostile. I don't know who I am. I don't know how to...