CJAngel
Status: And down again.
Mood:
Horrible
Offline
- I've come so far with my life. I've come so far since my diagnosis. I am so close to graduating college. Three weeks, in fact. But none of it matters. It's all gone to waste. One class. One teacher. One fucking project throws me off. I don't...
- Yesterday was the first bad day I've had in a while. I've been so stressed out about my classes. I have to pass these classes. Coming back to school is not an option. I need to finish and I need to finish now. But I bumped into an instructor and he...
- I haven't started seeing a new counselor yet. I don't think I will before I graduate. I haven't been on here in months. I've opened up a little more. I've met new people, made new friends. I took my knives back from my sister. The fear of hurting...
- It's just gotten ten times better. Michigan has just became the 18th state to lift the ban on Gay Marriage. My family is beyond happy because now I can marry the love of my life! One more quarter of college left, then I'm going to start working....
- With everything going on in my life, things just don't seem to be getting any better. I've had migraine headaches for two weeks now. I've been having slight pains in my stomach. I've generally felt like death for the last two weeks. Dealing with my...
- She left three weeks ago. We've skyped, but I miss waking up with her. Going to class with her. Giggling at all her quirks. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have her. She beautiful, smart, caring. I miss her, but I refuse to fail her. Before...
- Every now and again, the memory creeps up. How I failed. How I should have tried harder. Joining the military was a hard choice. But it was supposed to be my way out. I keep kicking myself. If I had hidden my pain, I would have made it. But now it...
- I got a new counselor at school. I went last week for my first individual session with her. Without my girlfriend. My session was cut short. I got about 35 minutes. Ten of which she spent asking me, 'Are you sure your a lesbian?' and 'When did you...
- I think about you most days. About how you were right. I shouldn't have left. I came back changed. I came back weaker. But I'm working on it, I promise. I miss how we used to sit in your room and just talk. You always knew what to say to make...
- My old therapist got a promotion. She's no longer allowed to see students in a client setting. It's a little upsetting. I had been seeing her once a week for a year. Now I have to start over again. I don't know how to feel about this. And I'm still...
- Lately, I've had this insistent feeling that I should reach out to my biological father. He's been out of my life for 10+ years. My counselor feels that it may help me to reach out to him. To try and rekindle something. Problem is, I don't want to...
- I almost had a panic attack and broke down today. I decided it was time to tell my mom that I'm a lesbian. All my friends knew. My sister knew. I was just scared to tell my mom. And I don't know why. She's always had my back. She's always been so...
- Why do my friends think I'm so fucking awesome? That I'm so amazing and strong? I feel so weak all the time anymore. I'M NOT STRONG!!!! Quit saying it!!!! All I want to do right now is take off. In the middle of the night. And not come back. I hate...
- Laying here in bed and I can't fall asleep. I'm happy to be going back. I'm looking forward to seeing my counselor and telling her of the progress I've made. Haven't fallen into a bad depression in three months. But things will change. I'm going to...
- I've been contemplating all summer an idea my therapist brought up. I'm going to request a session with my roommate, my girlfriend and a friend of mine. I'm ready to open up. I'm ready to let them in. I'm ready to start asking for help. It's been...