SearchingAndWaiting

"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it."   --Hardy D. JacksonWhy did I keep going?Because she was attractive, and I hoped something would...

Biked a long distance yesterday. It left me feeling good.Kind of nice to get recognition for it from people, too.

I feel sad.Yesterday, I saw someone put on makeup on the bus. I always feel rubbed the wrong way when I see this. I don't want to witness it; I'd rather women do it in private. To me, it's also a...

When melancholy wants to die, what do you do?When you're so alone that you can't stand it, and you feel like you can't get out of it, what do you do?Do you know what it's like to be simultaneously...

Well, I just don't have the motivation to write these days. I'm tired of fighting: Fighting to be heard; fighting to be received; fighting to find physical affection.Who would have thought it would...

I can't take it.

I am blessed.(Grateful that there are people who want to help me and wish me well.)

I struggle with self-esteem, but yesterday I had an experience that served as kind of an affirmation. Yesterday, at one point I looked in the mirror and saw my face, my eyes, my hair, my blue...

The journey is part of the destination.

I'm blessed.There can be gems in the rough. Even if the rough is really hard and makes you sad.

Please let me believe there is hope.

Had some good news today that helped me feel a little better. (Though loneliness still lingers.)Will things continue in that direction?

Sooooooo sad.Sooooooo lonely.Dear goodness, when could this end?

Hey— How are you doing?Did you see the e-mail I sent you? I find I'm not on the site very often these days :-|.Hope you're doing okay.

Although it's been a relatively long time now, I still have't gotten used to it.Whenever someone mentions cavalierly how they had sex with someone earlier in life who they weren't married to... it...