Although it's been a relatively long time now, I still have't gotten used to it.Whenever someone mentions cavalierly how they had sex with someone earlier in life who they weren't married to... it still comes as a shock. It still hurts.I wonder if this will ever change. Will I ever feel good enough— myself— that another's decisions in life, past or present, won't take me down like a truck hitting me?Why must I continue to allow others to have power over me? I'm not saying it's a conscious choice; very much not. But it happens. And I just don't know what to do to make it stop.
Except to continue to look for what I want so badly.