SearchingAndWaiting

Am going through a particularly difficult time. Loneliness has washed over me. Things don't seem real.I want so badly— NEED— to get my feelings out to someone. I NEED to share what's going in...

In the course of a day: I learned that a friend who is 34 years old and who always has been friendly and a good listener is a recovering alcoholic. As of just two, maybe two-and-a-half, years...

Things are intertwined. A little while ago, I posted a deep, honest message on Craigslist with what I was looking for in a girl. I didn't know what to expect by way of responses. In the end, one...

Every time I get close to a girl I'm drawn to emotionally, or even physically, I flinch; I pull away. I don't let her get too close. Can't let her penetrate my wall.In that sense, my isolation, and...

Bad feeling of loneliness

I've had a fascinating experience that's made me reflect on life's little twists and turns of humanity.A little while back, I had lunch with a girl I know. I thought she was cute, but we were just...

A conflict still rages within me. After everything, it still plagues me. I need to wait for sex. But I also need it.Emotionally I hold off. But physically, I pursue it (even though I’m not finding...

"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it."   --Hardy D. JacksonWhy did I keep going?Because she was attractive, and I hoped something would...

Biked a long distance yesterday. It left me feeling good.Kind of nice to get recognition for it from people, too.

I feel sad.Yesterday, I saw someone put on makeup on the bus. I always feel rubbed the wrong way when I see this. I don't want to witness it; I'd rather women do it in private. To me, it's also a...

When melancholy wants to die, what do you do?When you're so alone that you can't stand it, and you feel like you can't get out of it, what do you do?Do you know what it's like to be simultaneously...

Well, I just don't have the motivation to write these days. I'm tired of fighting: Fighting to be heard; fighting to be received; fighting to find physical affection.Who would have thought it would...

I can't take it.

I am blessed.(Grateful that there are people who want to help me and wish me well.)

I struggle with self-esteem, but yesterday I had an experience that served as kind of an affirmation. Yesterday, at one point I looked in the mirror and saw my face, my eyes, my hair, my blue...