SearchingAndWaiting

I feel so alone. So very, very alone. I had the conviction a long time ago (even if it didn't come to me at a single moment) that it would be right to wait until marriage to have sex. And that I...

You don’t know what it’s like, attractive girl. To not date casually. To have never had a girlfriend.You have no idea.You, with your looks and your body and your hair. You, for whom picking up a...

Praised be G-d, who takes away pain and renews....Even if that renewal comes little by little.

Love can be expressed in different ways. It doesn’t have to be sexual. It doesn’t have to be physical. It can be through spending time with someone. Through talking with each other. Through...

I keep trying to fit other people, the multi-faceted pegs that they are, into the rigid holes I have for them...

Every time I get close to a girl I'm drawn to emotionally, or even physically, I flinch; I pull away. I don't let her get too close. Can't let her penetrate my wall.In that sense, my isolation, and...

Bad feeling of loneliness

I've had a fascinating experience that's made me reflect on life's little twists and turns of humanity.A little while back, I had lunch with a girl I know. I thought she was cute, but we were just...

A conflict still rages within me. After everything, it still plagues me. I need to wait for sex. But I also need it.Emotionally I hold off. But physically, I pursue it (even though I’m not finding...

"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it."   --Hardy D. JacksonWhy did I keep going?Because she was attractive, and I hoped something would...

Biked a long distance yesterday. It left me feeling good.Kind of nice to get recognition for it from people, too.

I feel sad.Yesterday, I saw someone put on makeup on the bus. I always feel rubbed the wrong way when I see this. I don't want to witness it; I'd rather women do it in private. To me, it's also a...

When melancholy wants to die, what do you do?When you're so alone that you can't stand it, and you feel like you can't get out of it, what do you do?Do you know what it's like to be simultaneously...

Well, I just don't have the motivation to write these days. I'm tired of fighting: Fighting to be heard; fighting to be received; fighting to find physical affection.Who would have thought it would...

I can't take it.