Jat07

i am a mess..... one thing after another keeps going wrong and it is like i am frozen when i actually have time to do things....nothing is just simple.....and i am on this horrible emotional roller...

well i need to handle things .....and get things taken care of....there is so much to do and i cant bear the thought of selling his house but how can i keep it......we could sell ours and move there...

i just cant seem to pull it together.  after my last journal entry at work that day we went on a 39 year old doa.  i cant switch jobs its not an option.  the stress is definately making me sick. ...

this site really makes me feel like i am not so alone.  thank you for all the words of support, I find it so helpful.  and it means so much to me.  my moods keep flipping all the time still i...

well i guess i am officially in the angry phase of grief ....obviously.... i am burned out, tired, sad, and overwhelmed.  i am at work today.  12 hours at least sundays arent as annoying with...

why do i do this job why do i come to work everyday to take care of people who dont give a crap that we are there for them most of the time.....i have destroyed my back, my body and my mind for this...

well at work today and we were deciding on what to get for lunch so we decided to go to subway which seems normal but i havent been to subway since dad died...sometimes when we would go in there dad...

i am so frustrated more and more!  i havent had a chance to breath since dad died i dont get any time alone and i feel like i am going crazy ....i had to go back to work ( a pretty full stressfull...

well i am at work again today ....the station duties are done and the shift is my own unless we have calls....i am bouncing constantly between tears and anger now....i have an okay crew today which...

i am back at work .....hating all the drama hating everything right now.....i think i am rolling through an angry faze of grief  because i am just in general so mad right now i could just scream. ...

well today is mothers day i couldnt go to the cemetary my dad's grave is fresh and it would be too much.  i managed to get my daughter a present since it is her first mothers day her baby was born a...

Today we buried my father one of the kindest most wonderful men in the world.  I lied to him just before he died ....I told him we would take care of each other and everything would be fine.....but...

Dad passed away today, me and my brother were with him.  i am so very very sad and so very very tired

well i go from being there is no hope to there is hope to there is no hope for anything more than what we have.  we switched dad to pallative care.  so yesterday his reg dr came in and dad was...

it is bad enough dad is so sick but the stress of my marriage being in the crapper isnt helping and my car is making a loud noise.  i got a shut off notice for the water because i havent had time to...