mothers day

well today is mothers day i couldnt go to the cemetary my dad's grave is fresh and it would be too much.  i managed to get my daughter a present since it is her first mothers day her baby was born a few days before my dad died then he died and we buried him and there has been family stuff and now today and it is my husbands birthday and i actually got mad about all these girls with no problems wishing him happy birthday on facebook i feel like everything is falling apart i have to act like i am okay around everyone and i cant anymore i am just in pieces and i am executor and responsible for everything usually i take everything minute by minute but today has been a little much also my great aunt called me and told me she had cancer today and it was almost as if she was saying good bye i just feel like i cant breath ......we went to a metro park to walk and it was beautiful but then my emotions started going up and down again and my mind started racing with all the responsibities.....we are also moving the brand new grand baby and my daughter and son in law to virginia this friday so they will be far away and i will be left her alone with all this grief and marriage problems and another daughter that needs my emotional support and my dads estate and a job and a car that is having problems i feel i am so negative in my journaling but i have no where to let this out and i want to scream and cry but i can hardly catch my breath for that.  so i should be thankful i am told but i am sad and angry and frustrated instead....and really doubting i can cope.