I just emailed an eating disorder professional who use to work with me. Not sure if she'll give me advise considering I was discharged for not following recommendations. I just feel huge guilt tonight, seeing so many symptoms in my daughter. I know my behaviors prior to tx were influencing her but I couldn't stop. If you're reading this now and you have children, please know how much your behavior impacts them. Get help. I wish I had sooner.

Breathe : )

Your concern is good, I purged when I was young and my mom pretty much caught me and did and said very little. That's just how my parents were...denialist (is that a word?). So I think it's good your concerned but is it a valid concern? I'm sorry if you've posted before, but is your daughter binging and purging or starving herself?

Thanks, yes I do need to breathe. I don't know if its a valid concern. She definitely is showing symptoms but I haven't been able to catch her, except bingeing. And hiding food, etc. I hate the secrecy around food. But, yet I do the same thing. I focused on worrying about her today but failed to feed myself until dinner, intentionally. I think I just might need help myself, but I'm terrified to be forced to eat again and gain weight again. I'm in a bad place though, I wake up get my kid to school come home take a sleeping pill so I can sleep away the day, then I binge on calories through drinking, and am insomniac all night. All I do is sneak around, no wonder my daughter is doing it. Do you think you can get inpatient care for an ED if you're not underweight? My weight is stable, but the rest of my life and eating habits are a disaster. Thanks for listening. I guess it helps just to write.

Gosh, I'm so sorry you're in such a bad place. I think I've been in a place kind of like that myself. It's a horrible cycle to be in if you're days are full of self destruction. Been there. Been sneaky too! Right now im stuck in a weird cycle of sleeping and I'm trying to straighten it out. I want to engage in some self destruction tonite but I'm fighting it off and it's tough. Can you form a plan for your eating habits and stick to it? Maybe try to get some consistency in your sleep too? Just some suggestions. I know it's hard...hang in there (((hugs))) things will get better!

I can relate to what you write completely!! I have been worried about my son for a long time. he was always a bigger eater then his brother and peope would joke about it. then for a time, he ate very little and got very thin, I was so worried, I tried talking but I was so messed up in ED it was like me talking crap, who was I to say anything. now he is a binge eater and has been for quite some time. he has gained weight, and I know it isn't healthy but I don't know what to say. he is 26, moving out in june. he will eat a whole container of ice cream and on and on. he doesn't purge. I feel useless as a mom, why cant I approach this? I was made fun of all my life for being overweight and I think I don't want to hurt his feelings, dumb right? I don't know how old your daughter is but if young enough would see consider going into therapy with you and talk things over? im not much to give advice on this as I am struggling with it myself. my son sadly has inherited just about all my negative behaviors, anxiety, food issues, but he does have a good outlook on life right now. I am sorry you are in such a bad place yourself, this disease is awful and we have to get a handle on it. many hugsss

My old ED therapist emailed me back. She said it is best if I talk to her about my concerns with her behavior. It felt like a huge relief, like I have permission to finally express my concerns. She denied it, but at least now I can confront her without fearing of making things worse. Ann, maybe you can talk to your son too. It was a huge relief, just expressing concern so she knows I care and can monitor her behavior and get her help if things don't improve. If things don't improve, now I know, I have a resource that will help her. Wanted to share. Thanks for all your responses.

Eshaw and others with children and concerns about their eating habits...

Thought you might want to read this article : )
(((hugs)))

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/05/20/i-freaked-out-when-my-10-year-old-told-me-she-had-a-salad-for-lunch-heres-why/?tid=sm_fb

Thanks uniquorn. I read the article, and its so true that I immediately assume my daughter is dealing with an ED because I can relate to her behavior and it scares me. I need to be mindful of what is my own fear and what is actually going on. She swears she doesn't have an ED so I need to believe her unless her behavior proves otherwise. I'm so grateful I now know its okay to voice my concerns. I do need to work on when to consider eating normal or not. I have a very skewed vision of what is ok and what is not. If she eats too much or too little I worry. I need to stop obsessing and worrying about food and what she eats or doesn't period. Maybe its just another distraction from my own eating behaviors. Raising children is so hard sometimes. I hope I can learn to put my fears aside and see what is in front of me. Thanks again for the article.