Yes I can relate. I didn't call my dad on Fathers day either. I thought I had forgiven him and let go of all my resentment issues from my childhood until recently. He began to have problems in his marriage and he began to behave in the same controlling, obsessive, paranoid manner in which he did when I was a kid, and suddenly I was transported right back to that 13 year old kid again and all those emotions came flooding back. Don't feel guilty, you reached out in the only way that was comfortable for you right now. I didn't even do that, my dad doesn't do Facebook. You did what you could handle and that was better than nothing. Be patient with yourself. If you have a therapist then I would recommend discussing all of the resentment that you are feeling so that you can begin the healing process . That is what I am about to embark on with my therapist.

My dad was very abusive too whillel I lived with him from borth to age eight. These past twenty years though he has done a lot for us and I know he is trying to be a better person, which he is.

Perhaps it is time for you to have a serious talk with your father. Does he know how you feel about how he treated your mother and brother? Does he agree with you, has he made efforts to apologize to them?

It sounds like you need to come to terms with your past. When you have done this then perhaps you can draw a line in time, and focus on the dad he has been to you since that line.

I would never have a problem with my children if they did not call me on father's day. To me it is just a day. I love having one day named for my family role, but it is just a day.

MY DAD PASSED AWAY IN 1995.
I TRIED 2 CALL MOM BUT THE CELL PHONE AT HER NURSING HOME WAS BEING USED.
TRY CALLING HIM AGAIN.............................
GBU
D
;-O

Sounds like he has made some mistakes too.....so don't beat yourself up anymore...too bad there isn't a "kids" day to see how he would react to contacting you. Seems he let you down a bit.

I'm not saying hold on to the grudge because that is not good for YOU...but just because you didn't CALL him.....you DID reach out to him...you did FB him....Can you see how active he is on FB? If he has been on and hasn't said TY back....than should he feel guilty?

Its over...breathe..you did contact him...you didn't ignore him totally.

You only feel "guilty" or "we" only feel guilty or should only feel guilty if we do something WRONG (remember that)....you did NOTHING wrong. So let the guilt go....you may feel "sad" that you didn't have the Dad you wanted....or you couldn't handle calling him on that day...but like you said he is far away....

In another week...this won't even be a memory :)

Abusive fathers don't deserve anything from their children. You don't owe him anything.

I CALLED MOM YESTERDAY BECAUSE OF YOUR THREAD.
SHE SAID SHE WANTED 2 GO BACK 2 TAKING A NAP.
I SAID I LOVE HER AND GOOD BYE................................
GBU
D
;-O

I'm sorry to hear, I feel
As though no one gets me at times when explain my relationship with my parents . My dad was an amazing father , sued he got angry , had flaws burble was there .. Until drugs took his life. He's not dead but I feel as though he is. I will never have my father back. Father's Day was extremely tough and I cried a lot almost mourning the dad I once had. It is super tough to make that call. Don't be to hard on yourself . Maybe another day you will have the strength and if not that's okay . Don't let Father's Day put pressure on you . Do it at your own speed . Sending hugs and support . You are in my thoughts

I agree that you have n reason to feel guilty. And Peppermans idea about talking to him sounds like a good one if you think he would be willing to talk.