Mirtazapine

I can't decide whether to go off the Mirtazapine or not. When I first got meds I was given Geodon and Mirtazapine. The doctor told me I could take only a half a tab of Mirtazapine to start off with if I felt like it so I did. And I didn't like it - gave me crazy dreams so after 1-2 days I just didn't take it any more but always took the Geodon. After 2 months I told the doctor I thought the Geodon wasn't lasting long enough, was wearing off after 20 hours or so, and he increased the dose from 60mg to 80 mg. This gave me overdose reactions - tingling and numbness in my lips in particular, so after a month he droppped it back to the 60 mg and that seems to be the best dose. I never told him I stopped taking the Mirtazapine. After the Geodon was regulated I was still feeling depressed so I decided give the Mirtazapine another try. I still get crazy dreams every night but I seem to be a bit calmer during the day - but just a bit. Is it worth the trade off? I have had significant weight gain in the month of taking the Mirtazapine as well and that is what most concerns me - the dreams I think I can live with. I think to myself I can fight the appetite stimulus from the Mirtazapine with will power, but... I guess thinking it all through.... it's best I stay on the Mirtazapine. I think I wish I didn't need any drugs at all, but I know I do. When I went to the mental health clinic to pick up my last script refill I asked if I could see about a med tweek but they said no - not till my next appt which is a month away. So I guess I'll give the Mirtazapine another month and hope my clothes don't get any tighter. Not fun.