princess532

I am so in control. I feel so great and in charge of my own life. but then i suddenly get depressed. I know i'm not in control, i know that in all actuality I am far out of control and i am a captive...

Well, I'm feeling good today. But I feel bad for feeling this way because I think it is just mania. I started Geodon now instead of Zyprexa so I won't keep gaining weight. The Lamictil seems to be...

not sure what i'm feeling. i'm very frustrated. i want to drive around and just listen to music. i really really really want to drive. i also feel like typing. i wish i could type and drive at the...

well, i think i'm getting used to the medicine.  it made me gain 6 lbs  already and it's only been one week. but i go back on the 10th and the doc already said if i am gaining weight i'll be put on...

Slavery My ancestors were slaves to other men; I am a slave to my inner man; slaves to teh whip; slaves to the work; a slave to my own inadequacies; a slave to my own weakness; slaves in a world of...

Goo Goo Dolls said it perfectly with Iris.  "I don't want the world to see me, 'cuz I don't think that they'd understand."  I am so fucking phony.  I laugh in the face of men, but cry in the face...

I am so tired. i took my first dose of zyprexa and lactimil last night. i feel heavy and tired. i don't want to feel this way. i hope i get used to this and don't feel like this all the time. i feel...

i'm so confused. i won't have these moods anymore... i won't have these thoughts. it's like i'm going to have to totally learn how to live again. i won't cry at billboards... i won't get irritated at...

So, I got my meds. I'm anxious to see what it's like to be and feel normal.  But it seems like a part of me is already missing.  For quite a while now it seems like this disease has defined my...

Well, i think i'm going to bed soon.  i just really hope I can handle what the doc says to me tomorrow. i was really shocked when the therapist said i was manic. i mean, I know I am but I tried...

Well, I was supposed to see the dr on July 18, but the therapist I saw on the initial visit said was in the middle of a manic episode and needed to see the dr asap, so they put me on a cancellation...

I'm learning that my thoughts and my brain are two different things.  Maybe there is a difference between who I am and what I have.  Maybe there isn't anything wrong with the way I think.  I guess...

Well, these stupid motha' fucka's think I'm making it up.  I don't know why I'm on such a journey to get these fuckers to believe me.  They think I just went to the doctor to get more attention. ...

Well, i finally scheduled a dr. appointment.  I'm afraid to go because I don't want to admit that my brain isn't normal. I've always felt like if everyone could just keep up with me then the world...

Well, I could not wake up this morning.  I finally did and immediately started crying.  Nothing is wrong in my situation, but I am feeling so lost and empty.  My heart hurts really bad and it...