VolatileVacuum
Status: This site is so dead. When the hell did that happen?
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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My favorite thing about my life is how things get progressively worse despite my effort to improve them.
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I don't know what the hell is going on. Everything is getting messed up, my friends won't talk to me, everything feels weird. I'm losing my fucking mind. I don't understand any of this.
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I got a job on May 18th. I lost it by June 2nd. I am THE BEST at fucking my life up.
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I had an interview at City Market on Sunday. It took everything in me to get myself out of bed and to the interview, and when I got there I found out the manager didn't even show up to work that day....
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I have an interview at Goodwill tomorrow. If I don't get it I'll probably jump off a bridge. Not seriously, but I'll absolutely consider it.
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I don't want to be anywhere. I feel so uncomfortable and alone and restless no matter what. I've been bingeing like crazy--I don't even have the willpower to restrict now. All I think about is...
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I hate being awake. Unless I'm asleep I feel incredibly restless and irritable, and all I want to do is slam my head into a wall until I'm unconscious. And it's always like this. No matter how much...
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I just found my dad's profile on facebook. He's been dead for a year now, and I hadn't talked to him for nine years before that. I can't believe he was on there the entire time--- all I had to do was...
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I can't handle anything anymore. I don't want to be around anyone. I want to sleep.I already deleted both my facebook and my tumblr. I won't delete this because I like the site too much. But I won't...
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I really don't want to wake up anymore. Life sucks and when it isn't physically painful it's so obnoxious that it makes me want to claw my face off. I don't feel like eating or bathing or talking or...
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I'm assuming that since I haven't heard from anyone, I didn't get this job either. I'm done trying.
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I really miss methadone. It's stupid, but ever since my interview the other day all I've been thinking about is how much drugs I'll be able to buy once I get hired. I'm considering going back to...
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I think my anxiety might be coming back. It's nowhere near as bad as it was months ago, but just out of the blue I got the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and it hasn't left yet. Which is...
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I have a job interview with Pizza Hut at three today. It's great, but I'm freaking out about how I'm going to hide all of my cuts while I'm working or how I'm going to ask the manager about wearing...
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I had a really great session in therapy today. It made me feel a lot better about what happened yesterday (fighting with my mom, a physical fight with my brother, LOTS of cutting, etc) and she helped...
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