I just found my dad's profile on facebook. He's been dead for a year now, and I hadn't talked to him for nine years before that. I can't believe he was on there the entire time--- all I had to do was search his name and I would have found him. I could have talked to him. I could have told him how sorry I was, how much I missed him. I might even have been able to see him again...now I'm fucked because he's dead and there is no going back. 
I can't handle this. I already have so many regrets regarding him before finding this, and now it's pushed me overboard. I feel so hurt, and so stupid, and just...it's all so unfair. I don't want to have to live with this the rest of my life. I'll hate myself forever for this. I swear.