I had an interview at City Market on Sunday. It took everything in me to get myself out of bed and to the interview, and when I got there I found out the manager didn't even show up to work that day. So I was supposed to go back in yesterday but I blew it off. Now my whole family is pissed at me because they want me to get a job and move out as soon as possible (they haven't said it, but I'm not an idiot--I can sense it), and because they don't understand why exactly I CAN'T go to interviews anymore. Nor do they care to find out. 
My existence makes me so angry...like, the fact that I was born instead of someone else, someone that isn't a total fuck up who could manage to live a normal life. I feel like I'm just a waste of oxygen and tax dollars and space. I'm nineteen years old and I can't get a job, I can't go to school, I can't hardly function at all because my mind is, like...working against itself. I keep messing everything up and I can't control it anymore. I graduated exactly a year ago today and literally nothing has changed. I'm still stuck in the same mess I was then, but it's a thousand times worse now.