I really miss methadone. It's stupid, but ever since my interview the other day all I've been thinking about is how much drugs I'll be able to buy once I get hired. I'm considering going back to pills and even giving heroin a try. I feel like a fucking loser, but I can't help it. I just don't want to feel anymore and I know that drugs will only make everything worse, but I feel like it doesn't even matter anymore.
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My heart goes out to you, girl. My best friend struggled with this stuff a lot too. It is so hard to stay clean, when you know instant relief is available, even if it\'s only temporary and harmful. Please stay strong and know that there are people out there who want to see you succeed! You are in my prayers.