fluterify

The sun actually rose today.

I wish I were doing better. I don't really want to want to kill my self. Yet I feel it is the only solution. :(

I don't want to go on any more. And yet I have no one to tell. Or rather I can't tell anyone. And they wont believe me anyways. But I have a plan and the will to do it.

So I stand hereOnly to be trapped.Searching for a way outOf this black and white world.There before me is a table.There are three objects on itA knife, a mixture of pills and a marker.One I throw...

I can't breath any moreI don't want to eatI need to cutI want to die

I can't help but feeling life is not worth it any more. I hate myself and can't seem to change that. Sure, life gets better but then it gets a lot worse. I unsuccessfuly tried before but I actually...

I became frantic to day look for where my mom hid the pills. I never did find them so I ended up purging instead. Thing is I enjoyed the feeling of hurting myself. It's almost as if it's become an...

Is it not better to have an eating disorder than to be over weight?

Weigh daily                                      Weight drop of at least 78 poundsEat...

Satan just ake me away. God please let me go, I'm worthless.

I took ballet for 13 years and loved every minuet! But now that I have far from a ballet body I have an evil ballerina inside who would love to see me be a mere 63 pounds. Do I let her?

Living in fearHolding back tearsFighting to eatStriving to starveHealing in waysStepping back in to old habitsStruggling dailyFighting alwaysFor Perfection

Even though I have been getting treatment for everything from the very begining I have just decided I actually want to recover once and for all.

I hate my body, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! There is nothing good or pleasing about it. And my weight is only going up, so I'll contiue starving myself. The weight will have to eventually come...

Am I really back into this again? Eat less than normal and when ever I do eat I purge. Really? Why do I do this to myself?