It's still going ok. Trying very hard to change my ways and more importantly trying to make those changes permanent.

day 11, aside from some prime ADD moments, I was doing okay until tonight when I lied about the last time I entered in my journal brought on because she didn't believe me about why I left some wiring unfinished. I said 2 days since I entered and I don't know why I did that....... it was pointed out how easy that came out of my mouth and I am ashamed and starting over again. I have been overall doing much better and will get through this, I hate to disappoint and that seems to be one of my triggers.

Hi Guys,

New Here...I am glad that there is something like this online.

My name is Giuseppe and I am a Liar, hopefully that will change soon.

I wanted to wish everyone here continued luck in our respective journeys... I am still doing ok, but it is a struggle. I am forcing myself to not answer questions right away - no matter how simple or complex. This way I can try and stop myself if I for some reason have the urge to lie. I hope little steps like this will help me with this.

I've been trying to be open and honest for the past couple months and I feel ok about that. However, the damage it caused to my relationship is still apparent. I've beaten myself up over what I've done to her and its caused me to act differently (more uptight & too serious). She's trying to help me realize that its not helping the situation...... the past couple months have been a roller coaster ride.... All I know is I need to be myself again (the man she fell in love with minus the lies) and learn from this situation and more forward. I hope shes has the patience with me.

Today happened something I have to share with You.
As you may read in my journal I had some serious debts. They aren't 100% gone but now there is no threat that I will have to pay them (it's a long story and I'm going to go into more details in the journal soon). Yet on one of my accounts I'm definitely in the red - with a balance of about -25000 USD (well, it's in different currency but it doesn't matter).
Over a month ago I asked the National Insurance to remove the blockade that results in that balance. They declared that I can ask for that and it will be removed. So my wife asked me to check the account balance to see if it has been cleared of. To my surprise I saw a debit of... 70000 USD. Well, not quite what I expected.
What I would do in the past? That's obvious. I wouldn't tell my Wife a word about that. Most probably I would say that nothing had changed and in the meantime I would try to find out what's going on and what went wrong. Today I just called Her and said there is a problom and for a reason I don't know the debit increased almost 3 times. I did that before doing anything else. Then of course I tried to find explanation of this situation (with little success so far). Just to make everything clear I was sending inforamtion every now and then letting Her know how things are going. I even could say that I hadn't do anything during first hour because I had no time (well, I was in work after all).
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't act like that 5 years ago. I am so happy about that change. The greatest thing is that at the beggining I didn't notice that - it was so perfectly normal to act like this...
I hope you're going well today.
Hugs to everyone.

Hi, my name is Andy. I just joined because I want to stop lying for no reason at all, to those that care about me.

Hi, my name is Ron, and I have been lying to my wife for years. I have caused a tremendous amount of pain, anger, and distrust by never coming completely clean. I am so ashamed of how I have acted and feel like I have failed as a husband. I have always been afraid to give her bad news so I lied to avoid arguments. Some of these lies have cost us thousands of dollars, but I wasn't able to tell the truth. I now know that any problem that we have can be worked out together, and I just need to give her a chance to know everything. I hope I get the chance to rebuild our relationship, as I want to be with her forever.
Thanks to all of you that have given me advice and support.

Hi my name's Taylor and I have been lying my whole life. I learned it from my dad in practice, and from an abusive situation with my mom after their divorce. It was never safe to feel how I felt or have my own ideas so I was constantly trying to mirror whatever I thought she wanted me to tell her. Because of this I never had real close relationships because somewhere in all of those relationships were untruths. Like a little kid who says "My dad has a helicopter" to show off to his classmates when really he feels bad about his dad never being there. Except it followed me well into adolescence and adulthood. Making up whole stories my freshman year in college about how I had to go to rehab for sleeping pills to seem cool to a new crowd of kids. In reality, a girl I looked up to high school had gone to rehab for pills so I just borrowed and elaborated. This kept everyone at a distance my whole life, and once out of the structure of college, I was pretty alone.

In my mid twenties I met a men who I fell deeply in love with. Unfortunately, like every other person I'd ever met, this relationship started out with tons of untruths. The same girl I looked up to in high school with the rehab story had a more adult story about having a three-way. Because I continued to look up to this girl, I decided that fake story would be a great thing to tell on a first date. The lies were many and varying in shades of fact and fiction.

About 6 months into our relationship, the details of these stories started falling apart and he could see I was a liar. He desperately tried to nail down the truth and I kept purposely pushing it further and further away. I deleted web history, asked friends to cover for me, basically sunk myself even further. Then after he had to verbally pummel the truth out of me about some things, it still wasn't even close to everything. He begged and pleaded for the truth and I couldn't do it, but I told him that I did.

We started going to church, I started in therapy. But I lied in church and to my therapist. About a year later I tripped up over details again, he railed on me and asked a ton of questions until I caved with about 60% of the rest of the lies. He again begged me to stop, begged me to draw a line in the sand. And I couldn't do it. I wrote a "statement of truth" and hired a professional polygraph expert to test me on it. In some way I think I hoped I would fail and then be forced to tell him the rest. But I passed. And we went on. He started to forgive me again. I confessed to my priest, got a new therapist but I continued to lie to them both.

For the next year and a half lying became somewhat more difficult. There was one specific truth about my past that I couldn't shake. I would try to will myself to think about anything else. I stopped going to church and therapy because I was "so busy." But really I just didn't think I could stand to be alone with myself. Finally, in July, I tripped up on yet another detail from another story which obviously made him lose his mind. He asked a million questions. I denied it all. Then one Saturday afternoon he quietly held me and told me he could see it. He could see me. And it would be OK. He wouldn't leave. He loved me. And I began to tell him the rest.

It wasn't pretty. How could I expect it to be? The man who held onto me while I told him the big thing disappeared and an angry, hateful person arose in his place at least 80% of the time. And I get it. I don't blame him. He's angry. He hates me. He wishes he'd never met me. Because he loves me and he hates what I've done to our relationship, to our trust.

And the worst part is, it doesn't actually feel better once you stop lying. It's just different. In case anyone is expecting trumpet fanfare and holy light to fall upon you once you fessed up, that's not how it works. I don't have that weird shadow monster following me around like "HEY THINK ABOUT ME, I'M RIGHT HERE." Instead, there's a kind of constant defeat, a tiredness I haven't known before. My life of lying was the monster, and he's been slain. And what's left is a very badly bruised very sad tired person.

There are a couple of stories (the original three-way story is one of them) that he just can't accept that I completely fabricated out of someone else's experience. He asks about it trying to make it make sense. This kind of lying doesn't make any sense. This is a new helplessness like that boy who cried wolf. Hey this time it's real. This time there's a wolf. It's right here. I promise. But what do you do when your promises don't mean anything anymore?

He says I must actually hate him to do this to him. But you know that's not how it works. He's the person, the only person who's ever really been able to see me. The only person to stick around long enough to notice the falseness I was putting forward. He's the person I told the truth to. I love him more than anything.

Sometimes we talk about couples therapy but as he points out, he's not the one with the problem. So I don't know what the answer is. I know he's the most amazing person in the world. And I'm so sorry that I hurt him. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I want him to be happy and realize his dreams. With or without me.

I'm not lying to my therapist anymore. And I still feel bad about putting a fake face forward in church. I know God forgives. But yikes.

Thanks for listening.

I'm Graham, I'm a liar, and I'm telling the truth!

Im Jon, and I am a liar

My name is Felicity, I'm a liar and I have been honest for a day.

its been sometime since i checked in. ive been working hard on not lying since the end of july. my lies severely hurt my relationship with my amazing gf. its been a roller coaster since then. i had just started to feel hope and happiness again but it was torn away last night. i was made the fatal mistake of not thinking before i spoke. when i was questioned on something i hesitated and blurted out a lie directly to her face. i realized it, and tried to explain the truth a few minutes later but the damage was done and unforgivable. its disgusting how pathetic i feel right now. its sad because the past couple days were great. i broke her heart again. there's no help for me i think. i just keep hurting the people around me.

My name is felicity, im a liar and I have been honest for 2 days

Its Monday night. Once again my wife has kicked off on me, but I'm holding firm. I haven't lied since joining this site and although everyday is a struggle I keep going. My name is Graham, I am a liar but I haven't lied today!