Thank you for your postings...it's moving to see others like me. The worst feeling is being alone with this addiction.

Checking in slow start once again need to work on that, been talking to my soon to be ex-wife and she texted good morning. It is still hard to grasp and do not how she can do it after what I have done, probably best person I ever met and hope I can this time learn something from her and take her advice.

Hi im michelle an im a lier.

Today is a hard day, here shortly I will be assisting my now ex-fiance with the remainder of her property by helping her go to the post office to ship everything back home. Just a hard day dealing with the visual reminders of the wake of my dishonest destruction. I still love her so much, and now in about 24 hours time she'll be gone, just fricking hard to deal with!

Hang in the Aaron...you are on the right path....sometimes the reward of something unfolding in our iives doesn't present itself in the short term. I guess that's where faith happens.

I am sorry Aaron I know it is very very difficult. That is why we are here it is hard to let go of the damage we have done probably never be able to, important thing is we can better ourselves not hurt others and ourselves any further. I am having the same struggle every second of my life separation is indeed hard to deal with but I am telling myself I cannot think of anything other than trying fix the problems at hand.

Things were going pretty good but through a difficult situation, I was "Baker Act"-ed and put into a psych facility overnight. I got fed up with what was going on in our house so I left and fell asleep of the porch of a vacant house near our house. Husband got worried and called 911. To make a long story short . . . if I had told the cops the truth (I was angry at my husband and wanted him to worry about me -- childish behavior), they wouldn't have put me there but they would have also probably arrested my husband because they would have assumed that regardless of what I told them, that he scared me. (Yes, here in Florida a male can be arrested if his wife/living partner says he scares her.) Better I take a night with the suicide crew.

Checking in late got just got up recently have not been feeling well. Going to start my day here and finish without lying on a side note having a argument with my wife is frustrating. She is a victim and she is trying to see past that and telling me things might work out. I can not even if say I love her because if you love someone do you hurt them? I want her to have a better future and life not one worrying about me and also worrying if I am going to hurt her again It is hard to deal with all this. I just want to focus on getting better I never want to see her hurt again.

Checking in making progress. so far so good, been talking to wife a lot its frustrating and comforting at the same time she is extremely supportive. She really feels like if I can take control of my life we could happy marriage, but at the same time she feels she might be forcing me. I do not think that is the case it is still very early I have to see this through I can not bare to hurt her so I do not want to prematurely give her hopes only for me to destroy them. If I can continue and become a good person that is what I want to give her whatever that would make her happy because in return it would make me happy to finally love her the way she deserves.

Checking in yesterday was a good day, I did not to my wife and we had a long conversation about what needs to be done in order for this to work. She does miss me and hopes I can fix this marriage and it is up to me. She does not want to pressure me and she rather stay single or be with me if I can recover and better myself.

I was able to put one day together of no lying yesterday, today, the same, so I've been able to manage, even through some pretty heart wrenching times on my end, I was still able to put yesterday and so far today of no lying!

just putting one baby step in front of the other!

Patel - that is great news. You can change if you really want to (and I know you do).
Aaron - Keep going - you can do it!

I swan, thank you for the support, yes despite everything unraveling and happening around me I know I want to change and have a good plan set in motion. I feel much better and relieved I was so dam miserable cause lying was not easy but it was the easy route in my mind which strange. So I now it is easier to handle situations and fix problems then it is to lie and create new ones. I am hanging in there and I am going to see it through to the very end. Aaron I know your height a hard time but it is amazing you are still staying strong I can hope I can pick that up from you and continue be strong myself.

Hi im michelle an i lied so much to my loved ones ,i lost everything i want to repair my life .

Checking in progress is great. Doing much better and going to continue I have not told any lies so far, I have been feeling much better I believe things well start to get better.