Ellen
Lying can become an addiction - you may wish to read some of the posts from Dec-Jan, there is very good information to consider. Like other addictions you may wish to consider the cause of your lying and ask yourself if you have other co-addictions for which you may join a 12 step group.

Yes, you have to do the work, but you're not alone. You have this group, perhaps a therapist, maybe a 12 step program and your Higher Power. I'm not getting religous or flaky on you, but for me that was a turning point when I was finally able to turn my will over to my Higher Power as I understood that Power.

Good luck and happy lie-free Monday to all

Hi Ellen,

I know the feeling and I am in the same situation right now. I know I've hurt the person I loved deeply, but it feels as of now, that I have no support from anyone. It also appears that it doesn't matter what I do, the person will always bring up what I did. I feel lost and confused and I'm at my wits end.

As we gain control of our lives and lies the damage we have caused others may be too much for them to forgive - such is the pain we've caused. Nonetheless that is all the more reason we get our lying under control so we can stop the pain we cause others, but even more importantly the pain we cause ourselves

Thanks BTR - I agree with you.

BTR - I wanted to let you know how appreciated you are. Your continued support of people that are struggling with lying is amazing. The fact that you have been in recovery for this for so long yet continue to post on the site shows your deep concern and dedication to help others. You are amazing and an inspiration to me as well as others. Your wisdom is spot on. It seems like you always seem to know just the right thing to say to people. Just wanted to publicly say a big THANK YOU from me and probably a lot of others that visit this site daily but may not comment.

Thank you Larry, the reality is this site is a 'godsent' for me - I can never forget that lying remains deep within me and it is an everyday struggle and posting here is a way to stay sober from lying. I couldn't be where I am were it not for you, Laura, Sailor and others who have been supportive and those who preceeded us with their wisdom - 'take a deep breathe, slow down, think about what is about to come out of your mouth (all before speaking) and then talk - if you slip up and lie - fix-it immediately.'

Pretty simple to say, hard to execute on - Happy Lie-Free Thursday everyone

I know what you mean, LJames - I find it astounding that I will lie about shit that I don't even have a need to lie about! Why do we do that?

SiF - lying is so ingrained in us that bullshit comes out of our mouths because it has become a habit. We've trained and rewired our brains to protect our image. Someone said in an earlier post that we lie so others will love/like us - well unfortunately that doesn't work and like any addiction lying gets out of control so we lie about even the smallest least important stuff - we're addicts and we need to treat our lying for what it is, an addiction.

I feel that's true, Born - It started because I wanted to be liked/respected/honored. Problem is that lying doesn't get us there. It is so contrary to reality. How can lying ever lead to being honorable? What messed up brains we have.

Just checking in. Another day with no lies.

Hi my name is Sam and I am a liar. I just joined today.

Honesty may at times be painful, but it prevails and is the right course of action. A happy Lie-free Tuesday to all.

Welcome Sam

Checking in. No lies. No exaggerations today. No temptation to lie. Still disgusted at the thought of it. Back to "It is what it is" mentality, possibly.

Checking in. Hope everyone had a lie-free Thursday and looking forward to a truthful Friday. Take courage and be strong. We can do it.

On my way to a week long retreat to learn why I do what I do. Hope all of you have a lie free week