my fiance shot himself on christmas.he was tired of taking pills to be "normal".i have been looking at it this way...we had talked about life support once,because he always thought he'd have an accident on his motorcycle.the pills were his life support,and he did not want to live that way.they also made him impotant,so there were more pills to take,for somethin he said should just be natural.i will always miss him,he was and is my best friend.his grandmother just passed away on feb.7 and i hope she gives him an earful about leaving us the way he did.

I lost my father to suicide 20 months ago,at the time it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me or my family, it tore us apart especially my 3 teenage brothers who idolised there father. there were no warning signs shown to anyone we had no idea life had got too much for him, slowly we stareted to get back on our feet, 2 of my brothers moved in with me and my partner, life seemed to be getting back to normal.
Then one saturday i had an argument with my partner and left to cool off at my mothers 30 mins later i got a call to say he had attempted suicide and was being rushed to hospital , but it was to late he died after 4 days in ICU that was the day my world came crashing down i still have no idea why he is gone , why he left me here alone but those are thing i will never know the answer to.i have been left wit brothers that cant cope very well and every day i fear for their lives, and my sons have to grow up without there dad or grandad around sometimes life seems so unfair .

I lost my friend 2 years ago to suicide. He had been hospitalized and always spoke about killing himself. He spoke about it so much, it was like the "boy who cried wolf." The night he did it, I ignored his texts and turned off my phone because I was so angry at him for being so dramatic. After a few days of not hearing from him and not being able to get him to answer the door, I decided to check in on him. I tried the window...heard music..knocked on the door..it was locked. I went to the sliding glass door and the cat was jumping all over it meowing. I texted him that I was going to call the police..and at that moment I saw a note I had slid under his door to him still laying on the floor. I shoved my key in his lock and the door opened. He was right there in front of me. He had used the rope from the pool rescue raft. He had been there for about 2 days. I grabed his cat and calmly called 911. I think the cops were more surprised then I was. I will never forget how he looked. That night he was texting things to me warning me he was going to do it. His words were implying that it was my fault and he was doing it because I would be sorry. I went to therapy for about a year, but I still think about it every day. I still pray everynight that it is not my fault.

My, now ex, wife's father completed suicide when she was 7.

We had a great marriage with lots of love and support for each other. We had two wonderful kids who are well adjusted, brilliant, creative, polite, and well regarded.

When my daughter turned 7, the same age as my wife when her dad killed himself, everything changed. My wife became quite distant and began lying about all kinds of things. I found out that she was having an affair. I tried to save the marriage but could not.

I'm posting this because I believe her actions were a result of her father's suicide. When I found out about the affair, I also discovered that she was absolutely certain I was having an affair. She was absolutely certain that I was going to leave. She had convinced herself that I was filing for a divorce. None of this was even remotely true. The woman she claimed I was having an affair with I had not seen for almost ten years.

I believe that when our daughter turned seven this triggered my wife. Men in her life leave.

Today is the 21st anniversary of my brother's suicide. He shot himself in his head. He was my little brother ( I had 4 brothers) and he was my favorite. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I ended up being admitted to a psych hospital a few weeks later because I broke. Alot of time has passed since that awful day and the pain of it all has lessened, but I still miss him so much. His name was Scott.

My 23 year old daughter took her life on March 2, almost five months ago. She believed there was "no place for her" in this world, it was "too hard" for her; she suffered from schizo-affective/bipolar disorder but wasn't able to acknowledge her illness. She thought she was under "spiritual" attack (and to some extent she was, as are we all, but especially the most vulnerable). She had delusions; she had hallucinations. The anti-psychotic she was on wasn't working. I trusted that it was. I fought for her life for the past 8 years, my house was in lock down. That day, she told me she wanted to go to Target for a new electric blanket. The only reason she got the car keys was because I think it was the day she was being allowed to go "home". Under ordinary circumstances, too many obstacles were in her way, including me, my fear that she would do something. Four hospitalizations, four suicide attempts since early winter 2008. The past few years have been hell on earth. I watched the person I loved more than life slowly change, she was visibly ill.

I would have taken that bullet myself in a heartbeat with no hesitation so my daughter could go on and live the life she dreamed for herself before becoming ill. She had a Disneyland childhood, I was a 24/7 mom, she had unconditional love, a secure beautiful home, was very smart, had dreams of becoming a wildlife biologist. I would have taken that bullet with a smile on my face.

She called me twice that day to tell me she was "having fun driving around by herself", she called me one minute before taking her life, she said she'd be "home soon". I think she needed to hear my voice one last time because we loved each other so much. She left me beautiful letter, I was "the light of her life", she loved me "so very much". And now? She's with God and without Him I'd be long gone. I don't know where the strength to carry on with my (seemingly) pointless life is coming from other than God's grace. I can't hug my daughter as I did every day; I can't tell her I love her as I did every day. I do still talk to her but I can't hear her answers. I'm totally alone. My friends all ran like hell the day this took place. All my family is deceased. I made no friends here (we moved here 8 years ago into this beautiful, totally renovated 200 year old house in the Catskills) because I devoted every day to her. I dragged in a world famous psychiatrist from Columbia who doesn't even see patients; I took her to therapists, psychiatrists, I sat with her in the hospital. I gave her the very best of me, I did everything humanly possible. But she's gone and I hope I don't have to stay here much longer because life is hell.

all of these sad stories, i feel for each and every one of you. we are brothers and sisters in this pain, because NOONE knows what it is like unless they have been through it themselves.


18 months ago my son in law committed suicide.

he was 39 years old.

it had been building up for about 6 months. my daughter and he had separated because he wouldn't work and he had become verbally and emotionally abusive. he had moved in with his mother. the last few months he was alive he sent thousands (this was documented by the police, there were literally thousands) of text messages to her, all abusive, some with information that he was going to kill himself and take her with him, and some just begging her to come back.

she tried in vain to get him help, they had two children together. his mother was too angry with her because she had separated from him, so she ignored her plea to get him help. she told him if he got help and saw a therapist they could discuss getting back together. she even kept him on her insurance so he could do this. but he wouldn't.

on the day he killed himself, he sent her a text message telling her to bring the kids and herself to their special place. this was the place where he had asked for her hand in marriage and a place that they had used as a picinic spot for years. she was sick and told him no. a few hours later, the coroner and the police came pounding on the door.

apparently it was a planned murder suicide. he made the gun himself. he shot himself and then hung himself. if she had gone with the kids, they would have all been dead. he left a detailed letter explaining everything he was doing and blamed her and me for it.

God spared your daughter and grandchildren. For whatever reason, she said "no". He was irrational, driven by illness and torment, perhaps drugs or alcohol, I have no way of knowing that. Pray for him. And I know without doubt you will give constant support to your daughter and her children as they endure the "pit" of the effects of grief.

Though I am so sorry for your loss, I am so relieved that your daughter and children were spared. Suicide is selfish enough without taking others with you, I couldn't even imagine...

My best friend suffocated herself November 23 2010. She had tried many times before, id even taken her to the hospital once after taking 12 ibuprofen, but I guess she'd decided enough was enough. The afternoon it happened I was supposed to go over to her apartment, but I hand't gotten a lot of sleep and I decided to go home instead. Later that afternoon I texted and asked if she wanted to go to our favorite Chinese place for lunch since we had lunch at least once a week, the police called me back and told me what happened. I will forever feel guilty for not going over to her apartment, I would
Ve been there right around when it happened and could've called the police sooner and maybe shed still be alive, then again maybe she
Would've tried again and again until she succeeded...

A very long journey indeed...

A friend of mine killed herself about 2 months ago by driving her car into a river. Her wake was on my 30th birthday. We had drifted apart in the past couple years but she was one of the most caring, generous people I've ever known. She was drunk when she did it-she never would have left her son or her mom otherwise. I keep thinking how glad I am that we had drifted apart becuz it would hurt so much more if we hadn't. And I feel bad becuz a mutual friend of ours that I had also drifted from was at the wake & we started talking again & I'm so grateful for that & then I think, Wait I can't be grateful for that becuz it only happened becuz Torri died. U always hear people say all this stuff about people when they die, like all this nice stuff & I'm always like come on ur only saying that cuz they're gone but Torri really was great. She had her faults like anyone does but mostly she just really, really cared about people. And even tho we didn't talk that much anymore, her dying really changed my life.

http://ian-james-foster.virtual-memorials.com/

my son Ian took his own life in September 2006...the day before he set fire to himself I begged the hospital to section him

my heart goes out to all that have lost a loved one by them taking their own life

love sheila

so many tragic endings. i feel for each and everyone of you. ians web page is lovely, what a beautiful man.
xoxo

I wonder how many suicides have drugs and alcohol involved in them? Just curious. It seems over the last 8 months as I have become more acquainted with this subject than I ever wanted to be, they are a familiar thread.

My stepson shot himself on November 23, 2010. I have said no one knows why, but that's not technically true. He hated his life. On the outside it looked really good. Good job, Good money (even though he never had any), Good looking, personable. 31 years old. Never to be 32. He did not take drugs, did not drink. His tox screen was completely negative, not even a tylenol. No, he didn't have a mental illness either. That's all relative anyway. I don't think any "sane" person would ever kill him/herself.

He made some (to him anyway) bad life choices and just couldn't seem to stop making them. Some were public and some were private.He felt such a sense of regret and hopelessness, I think he decided to remove himself from the situation entirely. No one will really know for sure what happened other than he is dead.
Totally out of the blue. No warning, no note. Just....gone.

He also hated being alone.Even though he was at our house almost every day and had so, so many friends, he "felt" alone. He was divorced and he and his current girlfriend were on the outs. He wanted her to work and help with the bills, she wanted to stay home, sleep and visit friends. She was one of the last people he texted. For her to come over, she refused. His ex-wife was the last person he talked to. Perhaps she tripped the trigger literally and figuratively. We'll never know.

I have often told others, when he killed himself, he killed all of us too. His 86 y/o grandfather found him. He had to know it would be his grandfather or his dad (my husband). How horrible it must have been for grandad. Even though I'm a nurse and have seen more dead bodies than I can count, the sheriff's deputies would not let me on the deck (where he shot himself).

They don't think though. They really don't think about what it will do to others. I believe killing one's self is the most selfish thing on earth. I stay angry all the time about it. Because he could not face the choices he made, we all suffer for the rest of our lives. How fair is that?

This sounds like I didn't love him, I did. Really. I just do not think it's fair that he left us to clean up after him. It's not like suicide just goes away. It's ripples never, ever stop and he never, ever comes back. I wish everyone who contemplates suicide would understand IT"S PERMANENT!!

My mom's best friend killed himself about 2 years ago. it was horrible and scared me so much. i still feel the pain. i've also had 5 suicidal friends whom i told on. they are okay now but it still hurts so much. it was so traumatic and painful, that words can't describe it.