my huzband took hiz life 29th april this year just 2 complex 2 tell my story but if u chek out my page u can read it all there cheerz pasionateozigrl :)

My dad committed suicide Jan 16th 2007. He left a note, yet no one saw it coming. He was incredibly successful in his career yet his personal life was much more difficult for him. He had just broken off a relationship, this combined with the severe withdrawal reactions to coming off of Ativan (a benzo drug like valium and xanax) I think was too much for him. No one had any idea how bad it was for him to get off this drug and the terrible withdrawal symptoms he was having. I really don't think he was in his right mind when he did it. The withdrawal was giving him insomnia days at a time, severe depression, shaking, psychosis, scrambled thoughts. Yet he was so good at hiding it from everyone. He was supposed to be at work in the morning, and when he wasn't there, a couple of colleagues came by his apartment... the door was open... they called his name...no answer....they pushed on the closed bedroom door, but it didn't move.....they never saw him hanging on the other side, they saw the notes on the table, and that is when they knew... He had left everything so organized in his apartment, he had left out all the important paperwork to take care of next to the notes. That was so like my dad. I found later that he had been planning it for a while. He had searched websites for methods, certain search terms. He had just not told anyone about what he was doing.... I miss him so much...

My brother killed himself when he was 23 (I was 20). We were both abused horribly as children. I think he just didn't see any other way out. He took our father's rifle and shot himself in the head. My father was the one who found him.

That was 30 years ago, and it was yesterday.

I lived with survivors guilt for years but didn't realize it. I eventually became so depressed that I attempted suicide several times. Fortunately I wasn't successful.

When my brother died, he took a part of me with him. Life was never the same again.

Now I'm much older and have sensed him around me often -- like a guardian angel. I know one day we will be reunited. Unbroken and whole.

My precious baby sister first attempted suicide when she was 12. We didn't even know. She took an overdose of paracetamol and was vomiting all day. We thought she was really poorly. She didn't tell me the truth for years.

She almost succeeded at 14. We had a massive family fight, everyone was screaming at everyone else. It happened a lot at that time. She was a horrible teen and bullied my mum. I stormed out and walked to town for my best friend's birthday dinner. My dad didn't follow in the car - I was surprised - I wasn't allowed to walk to town alone (it was a long walk). I saw an ambulance and felt worried but told myself not to be so stupid. My sister had put a plastic bag over her head and wrapped her dressing gown cord round her neck. My parents only found out as she knocked over something on her desk and my mum went upstairs to yell at her for breaking stuff. We didn't know what was going on.

She was hospitalised from that point. In and out of psych units. She developed eating disorders and the drugs they gave her made her fat. She dropped out of school. She tried to kill herself so many times but she was well looked after. They tried to make her better.

She left that hospital 2 1/2 years later. She lived with my parents, and her boyfriend moved in when I went to university. She was in and out of hospital in that time and her boyfriend was amazing and supportive and fantastic. He really was the best.

Summer 2004, when I graduated from uni, she seemed to be doing so much better. They were in a house together and it was wonderful. We all thought things were changing and we were all happier and healthier. Then they split up. But she seemed to take it well.

I went to teach English abroad for a year. 20 days later I came home. My daddy had to call me and tell me she'd done it. My heart broke and it'll never be whole again. I don't know any details. I can't take details. I was halfway round the world.

I get so angry and so upset and it hurts so much but as the years pass it's not so bad. I want her back every day and I'd give everything for that. But it can't happen, I'll just have to dream of her

My mother took her own life on September 10th 1995. None of us saw it coming. I knew she suffered from depression but had no idea of how low she was. She left a note for us 5 kids and one for my Dad. I only got to see the note for us kids once and I can't really remember what she wrote. It devastated our family, my youngest brother was only just 14 when it happened and he won't talk about it. I had counselling because she was such a big part of my life and I miss her every single day. It was 12 years on Monday but it still only feels like yesterday.

both me and my best friend witnessed my identical twin sister take her life, there was nothing we could of done, but i remember my sister saying she sorry and that she never meant for this and she then turned to my best friend and told her to look after me after theat we watch on helplessly, my friend had to keep me restrained and try to calm me down, she never showed any emotion to my sisters death instead she just sigh and called the paramedics and told them and the police what happend while i cried in to her shoulders. that day me and my friend vowed to each other we would never speak of it again and we've kept that promise. my friend is still calm and emotionless, she always coms across as this strong willed person, hardly showing her emotions, but she has tried to take her own life three times but with each attemped and landing in hospital she has still refused to talk about that fate full day. i've thought of it to many times but now all i can think of is to recover from my eating disorder and to fight my cancer so i can go and see my best friend again, she's my piller of strength and always will be.

my dad hung himself on my birthday the 15 of july 2007 we all new he was not happy but he all ways said 2 me he would stick arould 4 me bcoz he new he was the only person i could talk 2 and i was the only 1 he left a suicide note 4

On the 27 of May 2007, was an ok day then i found out i was pregnant i went to my sisters room to tell her an found her laying on her bed blood everywhere an she was dead she had taken an over does to thin her blood then slit her rists it was deverstating we were going to do it together but she did it with out me an im here now to tell the story behind why she did it i think thats why i got pregnant to keep me going to tell people why she did it.

I was very close to my auntie, she had always suffered bouts of severe depression (i suspect Bipolar 2), many things contributed to her voluntary admission to hospital in July 2005. One being my mum who has suffered 5 manic episodes in the last 9 years, she was also having problems with her children, and was suffering with M.E.
My auntie was my rock, the only person who truly understood. I was her rock too, the person she would turn to in times of need.
On her good days she would ring me to tell me jokes.
She finally decided she had had enough on December 3rd 2005.

I have looked at this community a few times, but didn't feel like joining, but watched 'Girl Interrupted' on TV last night, and showed a very graphic scene of suicide. This was how my auntie died, and it affected me quite badly - I wouldn't have watched it if I had known about that scene. All those feelings I had when it first happened came flooding back.

My auntie was so compassionate, so accepting of everyone, she never gave up on my mum, her children, her illness. She struggled on until she felt she couldn't do it anymore.
Not a day goes by when I don't think of her, I have a picture of her above my computer and one in my wallet.
My cousins lost their mum, and cannot get to grips with life at all, but they love to talk about her. They are quite a bit younger than me, so like to hear stories of when I was little and my auntie cared for me when my mum wasn't well enough (my mum has always had Bipolar - just not diagnosed until a few years ago) , so that keeps the memories alive.

A part of you goes away and doesn't come back when you lose someone to suicide.

My youngest son took his own life on September 28,2004. This was 6 months after my mom died from open heart surgery. It was 3 days before the anniversary date of his older brother who died of accidental drowning. My sons have always been my life and now I have lost 2. The last has devasted me beyond words and now this hole of grief has consumed me and having a very hard time climbing back out.

My son had just got married in March 2004, he had a beautiful baby girl which he loved dearly. He took such good care of her because his wife was just not capable of it.
Well the drugs got to much for him and he could not convince her to get help. He came to my house and said he just could not take her anymore. We talked and kidded around. The next morning I went to the store with my husband and got a message on my phone that he was threatening to kill himself. I called my other son and he assured me that he would not do this they had talked about it and nothing would happened. The next call I got was from the girls mother saying that he had done it. At that moment my life ended and ever since nothing else seems to make any sense to me.

Sorry hit the wrong key it was the 18 of September his brother died the 21 of September.

my story is still very tender, thursday the 20th of this month of this year (yes only 2 days ago) my brother took his life, he was my hero and best friend. he helped me seek recovery for my ed and he loved me just the way i was. i dont know why i could not see it in his eyes what he wanted to do or why he never told me. i had only spoken to him about an hour before, i remember it very well. we were speaking about the surf, how it went and he then told me he loved me so much and wanted me to know he'd never do anything to hurt me. with that he tucked me in bed (he loved to do that, even though i'm 18, it was our thing and yes i know odd) and he turned and whispered "may you find peace wiht yourself, may you find and cherish your new found friends, may you love and support our family and lastly may you find love with in yourself, i'm sorry" i know what your thinking, how does she know? well i had not fallen asleep so i had my eyes closed and listened, i whispered back "thank you" but thinking about thata i should of seen in comming i guess.

well thats my story

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please take the time you need and go very slow. There are so many unaswered questions when someone takes their own life.

My ex-husband and I got back together. After I realized his depression was worse than ever and there was only so much I could do, I ended it the best I could. Three days later, when visiting my sister and her family in Florida, I received a phone call from his family telling me he committed suicide by shooting himself in the head. He was the love of my life and his suicide affected me and others in a way people who don't lose a loved one by suicide cannot begin to understand. The healing process is ongoing.

Thank you for adding this community.

hi, I just lost the man I had been with for almost 5 years, he was my life, he had problems drinking and depression, but thru the years he had talked about takin ghis life but never did so this time I really didnt pay attetion to him talking about it when I should have taken him serious, On July 27th, 2007 I was working at my job and he was at his house, and he texted messaged me telling me he had dropped his most precious possessions off at my hom eto make sure I give it to his cousin, I was busy at work and couldnt respond to his text message, so then I get a call from one of his friends asking if he should call the police as my boyfriend was talkaing about suicide, I said yes do so, then they next text I get is from my boyfriend tellin me to take care and that he loves me dearly and always has and always will, this scared me, so I get a call from the police and they told me they are on the way to his house to get him help, I said please dont knock on his door untill I get there in 15 minutes, well by the time I got there, they had already knocked and heard a gun shot go off, and I was so upset that they had not waited for me to get there, I keep thinking if they had waited I may have been able to talk to him and ask him to come outside to talk and they could have helped him then when he was away from the gun, now since we were not married and lived sepertly (we used to live together prior for 4 years) I have no claim on any sentimental things that we hold, his EX wife does since she has his minor kids, all I do is cry I miss him so much and often think about doing something close to it just so I can be with him again, life will never be the same and I will never ever be able to be with anyone else in my life time, he was the man I loved with all my heart and hes gone and I have no intrest in wanting or ever wanting anyone else, am I wrong for feeling this way please someone help me