12 days ago, my best guy friend Gatlin killed himself. He was 15 years old and a PHENOMENAL guitarist. His dream was to become a rock star, and he refused to consider anything else. He was suicidal a year ago, and very depressed, but then he recovered. The night before he killed himself, he and I were talking about how suicide WASN'T an option. The night he committed suicide, he got in a fight with his parents and they took away his cell phone. He got very angry and ran upstairs. His father decided to go talk to him and see what was so wrong, but as he was walking upstairs, he heard a gunshot. The detective at the crime scene thinks that Gatlin might have killed himself on accident, thinking that he could use suicide as a way to get out of a discipline for whatever he did earlier that night, but since he was using a long hunting rifle which was very bulky and hard to handle, there is a very good chance he did it on accident.

It hasn't even been two weeks now and I'm totally and completely devastated. Gatlin and I were soooo close, and I can't imagine life without him. I haven't been depressed since last winter, but I'm terrified that the depression might come back because of my devastation. I miss Gatlin more than anything in the world and I don't even want to live at this point. I just want to go up to heaven and be with Gatlin. It's not fair that he gets to be happy while all the rest of us are miserable down here without him.

Rock in Peace, Gatlin. I still love you.
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Looks like the original intent of this discussion back in August was to open up the board, and the topic has been kept alive since then. It is what it is.

Some to PTSD some to news of terminal illnesses, too many for no reason... selfish A--holes

my huzband paul killed himself on april 29 2007.paul and i had been 2gether 4 almost 15 yearz in august 2006 i left paul az hiz violence and abuse had xculated 2 a point where he waz threatening 2 kill all of us...8 yearz of abuse waz all i could take and it waz my job 2 protect my children...on the 30 of march 07 i made contact with paul i needed 2 c if he had changed for 3 weexs he waz beautiful but then the abuse started again paul ran hiz van in2 a cement wall 500 m from where i liv he timed it so my children and i would c the accident happen but thankfully i waz runnin late 2 go 2 work n i saw hiz van on the hil and heard and saw the ambulance go past just like he sed i would each day i hav2 drive by where he took hiz life az i run my babez 2 school just b4 he died i spoke 2 him several timez i told him i didnt care i told him it would b eazier if he waz just gone he told me that i would hear the sirenz and then i would no that he waz ded he told me that each day az i went ova the interchange i would b reminded he told me that he needed 2 let me liv in peace and that id b ok he told me giv it 6 weex nd u'l find anotha guy...i am stil so num but i did find sum1 rite here on ds rite wen i so waznt lookin nd now im lookin 4ward 2 an amazin life which we plan on leadin 2getha... from paulz death i hav found my soul mate paulz suicide set my children and me free and i cant hate him for that he let go wen i couldnt and hopefully thru my work i can giv understanding and compasion 2 people who feel that their lifes rnt worth living...there iz a reazon y thingz like this happenz nuthing iz eva just a coinsidence...

I lost my boyfriend on Oct. 6, 2007 to suicide. He had attempted with an overdose in May but I was able to get someone to the hotel room he was staying at out of state. He spent 10 days in a comma and was blessed enough to have a second chance in life with no physical sufferings of his attempt at suicide. We (his family and myself) thought he was on a healing journey however we quickly found that he was bitter, depressed and truly wanted to die. He was prescribed medication for bi-polar but what we soon found out was that he wasn't taking them on a regular basis. When he did - he was drinking so the medication wasn't working. Long story short - he took his life on a beach close to our home one night. It was 3 days until he was found (he had stepped off the sand and sat down behind a tree). No notes, no signs, just death.

My uncle killed himself in a severe manic episode on Christmas morning of 2005. He had recently been diagnosed with severe Bi-Polar, was abusing drugs and was not living in reality. He ended it all and I havn't accepted it nor grieved. Two days later, my friend died suddently and unexpectedly from a brain annuyrism. It was a huge blow, especially having to attend 2 funerals in one week.

in sept 2007 i found my nephew s body at his apartment.he had committed suicide..my sister and i tryed to revive him but it was too late .it was the worst 12 minutes of my life .just devastating..i had a nervous breakdown since that event. i will never be the same.and he is gone forever .....

On 9/27/07 my ex husband killed himself.
We had been divorced over two years and hadn't been an active part of our lives most of that tim.
He became a meth addict after he moved out and was never the same.
He left behind two boys 7 and 9 and me...someone who after all the misery he put all of us through still loves him very much.

This is part of my story. I wanted to share. My story is in my journal if anyone wants to read it please feel free. My story is not only about suicide. It is about mental, physical,& sexual abuse. All of the things that led me to the world of drugs.



When Jay was 1, my 16 year old cousin came to live with us. He had a troubled home life & dropped out of school. I was 22 at this time. Scott loved Jay & would spend hours playing with him. We gave Scott a job on the farm & a home as best we could. Scott was my Dads brothers son, & my Moms sisters son. In short he was a cousin from both sides of my family. He was raised by another man. He always knew his Dad was not the man raising him, but was not told who his real father was until one day in school. This was devastating for Scott. He had always thought my Dad was his real Father. My Dad had gone out of his way to spend time with Scott & loved him. Truth was Scott's biological Father was the town drunk. A man who never spoke to him. A man who hadn't given Scott the time of day. My acoholic Uncle. The events of Scott's life were too muchg for him to handle. After his 17th birthday Scott walked 7 miles through the snow from our home. He left a brief note stating we would not find him on the farm. We reported him missing & searched 3 days before he was found. Scott had ended his life. Jay was only 1 1/2 but still remembers Scott. This was my 1st experience with death. My life changed. I felt a missing piece. It was if someone had ripped my arm from my body. I thought I would never function again. I couldn't understand why. Why did he go? Why did he do this? Then 1 night Scott came to me in a dream. He put his arms around me & simply said "I couldn't take the pain anymore". I understood. Scott was at peace & had comforted me. I have no doubt in my being, I had been comforted by Scott. I still miss him & often feel his presence

I was 7 when my dad comitted suicide. My mom told me he did a lot of drugs, was sad & wasnt always there, but I can remember him being around. I cant remember a lot about him, but what I do remember is he seemed happy to me & loving & caring. I know that I loved him SO much. Its not like I have depression or suffer because of what he did I am just so heart broken & still to this day very confused why he would take his own life & leave me. He wasnt in my life anymore so I turned to drugs & sex.

My friend from China (who was only in her 40s at the time) killed herself after having been diagnosed with cancer. She also had been having debilitating back pain for a long time and was on a lot of pain killers. This was in 2003. It was so sad. I couldn't believe she killed herself. She put a gun to her head. She probably left a note for her husband and son. I'm glad that her husband has recovered and remarried. In China, it is, I believe, considered acceptable--maybe even honorable at times--to kill oneself. Anyway, chronic pain must be horrible. I certainly don't judge her for it, but sure do miss her.

jericabee

my boyfriend committed suicide on october 4th 2005. and somehow i blame myself. he was always happy and i never expected this from him. but during his last days i noticed he was upset. and we argued a lot. and somehow i feel responsible. he wrote me a letter and said it wasnt my fault but i still think it was. i loved him. but i messed up. its been 2 years and i just starting 2 realize im never gona get him back. i miss him soooo much. we planned on getting married. but when we were older. we were together for 7 years. on & off. RIP TIMOTHY JAMES FISHER JR. 11.01.90-10.04.05

in 98 when i was 8,i woke up to all the family around,they sat me down and told me and my brothers that my dad died....at first we wer told he knocked his head then we wer told the truth,he killed himself and my mum found him,a few months later i got sat down again and told that my uncle who had becum like a father to me and my brothers after dad died had also killed himself.shortly after my older brother tryed to kill himself infront of me and we moved house and he tryed to kill himself again...this time i had to pull him off the balcony.my brother is now fine but i have lost the 2 dearest people to me and many more people since.its now been 10 years!!

My identical twin brother and I lived in separate cities,We remained close. By the early 1970's, He too, had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
In February 1978, my twin confided in me that he was in severe depression. I urged him to try lithium, but He said that he could not tolerate it. Instead, he went into the hospital for electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
DARKEST DAYS FOLLOWED:
The mood swings and the loss of sensation from his back injury wore him down until he got to a place where nothing could solve his problems. On April 25, 1978, just three days after our 36th birthday, My twin fatally shot himself, leaving a wife and three young children.
I was devastated... The next three to four weeks, I was walking around in a deep dense fog. I couldn't believe my identical twin was dead.
After His suicide,I began taking lithium regularly. Still deeply grieving, I threw myself into tennis, racquetball, and especially running.I ran daily and completed in two marathons. Exercise became a release for me.I recall. It seemed to control my mood swings.
To this day,I have always felt that a part of me died back in 1978. Genetics are a unbeivable tie between identical twins........

Hi, I don't really know where to start but my boyfriend tried to commit suicide in a car using a hose and some tape. He did not want to be found, and maintains he is angry with my for contacting the police. He is now being looked after but I have gone from feeling sad and worried to fury. Is this normal? Does anyone have a link to a familiy support site? I need to talk this through. Thanks