Cheaters Anonymous Community Group
This is a support group for cheating spouses looking for understanding and strength. Betrayed spouses are welcome to post ONLY if they can do so in a supportive manner (no bashing...these posts will be deleted), and please do not comment on 'Cheaters Only' posts.
I ruminated over a msg to send my narc for days. (OCD does that to me...I wrote it, re-wrote it, decided I wouldn't send it...Finally, I had to send to send it to relieve my anxiety about it. OCD 'quirks' can take up a great deal of time)
I know it probably feeds his ego that I sent it, but I feel better for having done so (I was very teary yesterday). He hasn't responded yet. I suspect he won't. I am taking a non-response as affirming my suspicion that it is over...which is the question that I asked him. He is flirting publicly with someone else. His new main source of supply, I suppose (tho he has many sources...a veritable FB harem). Good luck to her. I hope he treats her better than he treated me. I think this one might actually be single.
I know it probably feeds his ego that I sent it, but I feel better for having done so (I was very teary yesterday). He hasn't responded yet. I suspect he won't. I am taking a non-response as affirming my suspicion that it is over...which is the question that I asked him. He is flirting publicly with someone else. His new main source of supply, I suppose (tho he has many sources...a veritable FB harem). Good luck to her. I hope he treats her better than he treated me. I think this one might actually be single.
Have you ever stated clearly that you will end the marriage if he will not perform oral sex? Does he know that's the deal breaker for you?
I'm glad you know my intentions. Are you saying that you are a licensed psychologist? Maybe a new type that I've never heard of before who can read minds and identify mental illnesses through second hand comments...
I would also imagine oral sex is not the only.problem in the marriage. To think anything is that simple would be an error.
Has your H been told directly that these issues are deal breakers for you?If not, how can he address those issues with the appropriate level of seriousness?
In your version of marriage does things have to be an ultimatum (do this or else) before one spouse takes the other's concerns seriously?
I think it may be coming off as antagonistic mainly because of the assumptions I see being made. I greatly dislike it when people make assumptions about others and pass judgment on what they are dealing with, what they should do, and how they should or should not act. I've also never met someone who doesn't take it personally when they are called abusive, especially over something as trivial as laughing out of exasperation.