Cheaters Anonymous Community Group

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Msg to Narc

cindy666
cindy666
I ruminated over a msg to send my narc for days. (OCD does that to me...I wrote it, re-wrote it, decided I wouldn't send it...Finally, I had to send to send it to relieve my anxiety about it. OCD 'quirks' can take up a great deal of time)

I know it probably feeds his ego that I sent it, but I feel better for having done so (I was very teary yesterday). He hasn't responded yet. I suspect he won't. I am taking a non-response as affirming my suspicion that it is over...which is the question that I asked him. He is flirting publicly with someone else. His new main source of supply, I suppose (tho he has many sources...a veritable FB harem). Good luck to her. I hope he treats her better than he treated me. I think this one might actually be single.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Fiber, you go girl. Going, keep telling the truth. Cindy, sweetie, have you ever prayed for strength? Pray really, really, works. I prayed a very specific prayer which really worked, because the result was my ending my affair with Eric. This is how it went. "Because I Love Eric, I realize I am not capable of making a good decision. I think my relationship with him might be wrong, and if is, please let it end as quickly as possible."

Things changed between us in a few days, and in about two weeks they had changed enough that I ended it! I guess because when I ask for help and guidance I do what The Godde4ss tells me to do, She knows I really, really, mean it when I pray!
cindy666
cindy666
I am an atheist, Tantric. I do appreciate the advice very much, though. If it works for you, that is awesome, :).
deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay, I don't believe in deities, either. I don't buy the idea that some all powerful being is out there, capable of pulling our strings. But, Cindy, do you have faith in.anything larger than yourself? Do you have any sense of connectedness, spirit (not religion), a life force that was before this body or will continue beyond this body? Do you believe in anything?

For me, it's a sense that we all, as a human race, share one collective soul, each with a responsibility to all others, and the ability to create Heaven or Hell for each other through our interactions.So, in my belief system, I am as much a 'god' as you are, and the pebbles I drop in my side of the water ripple onto your shore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Some people encapsulate the idea in the simple word 'namaste'.

It seems to me that to believe in nothing, not even the spirit in me connected to the spirit in you, would be a very lonely existence.
cindy666
cindy666
I believe that when I die, I am dead. Nothing more. Yes, it would probably be comforting to believe that some ethereal part of me will continue on, but I cannot force a belief that I do not feel.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So you can't borrow strength from faith, or a higher power, or the spirit of fellow humans, or your husband since he can't know about any of this, and you lack inner strength....

What's left? If you can't have faith in spirit, etc., can you risk a little faith in those of us here? Can you let anyone lead while you are wounded and wandering blind?

I wonder if you believe that basic tenet that no man is an island.
cindy666
cindy666
I do have faith in people. I think most are basically good and I do believe we can learn a lot from each other.

I am wounded and wandering blind? I don't think so.

I do believe that man is a social species and that we need community and human interaction.

I am a secular humanist.
deleted_user
deleted_user
So you're not wounded or wandering, blind. Okay. Then you are not in pain? And you haven't wandered onto the wrong path? Your own guidance is taking you to where you want to go?

I think defensiveness frequently comes between you and solutions.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Simply, I was questioning whether or not you will take guidance from others if your own is not working for you....if you have that much faith in people. I think the answer to that question has already been demonstrated.
cindy666
cindy666
Yes, in some aspects it is not working for me. Choosing to get involved with a NPD has not worked and has caused a great deal of pain. 'Wandering blind' I do take issue with, though, as I know what I have to do where he is concerned...it is just difficult to put it into action when I am in love with him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
And now you've returned to being in love with him rather than addicted to him. Do you know what love is? How can you be in love with him when he's not in it? Aren't you alone in that?
cindy666
cindy666
Oh, absolutely. Notwithstanding that he once told me he loved me, it is unrequited.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What are you hoping for?
cindy666
cindy666
It is irrelevant what I hope for. I might as well hope for the moon on a silver platter.
cindy666
cindy666
He disabled his FB account without a word. Perhaps he'll be back. He tends to act impulsively and then change his mind later...or maybe not. I have other ways to reach him, but he seems to be ignoring them. Sigh.

He had told me he wanted to downsize his friend list and that he wanted to be left alone by most people. I was just talking to him earlier in the day and he seemed friendly and normal, so why the disappearing act without even a head's up to me?