If he is a narc he will do to her what he did to you. He will hang long enough to feed his ego but as soon as she expects him to be human and open up or express any genuine emotion, connect on a deeper level he will jump ship and get off on her shock and dismay.

Narcs don't connect beyond the shallow "it's all about me" way. Even when they are feeding your ego with compliments and admiration, it is for their own ego because it draws you in to believe they are awesome. It's all on the surface and well disguised at first.

Don't think you are a fool for falling for it because lots of intelligent awesome people fall for narcs false ways. But now that you know, you should really reconsider ny further feeding of the shark.

Just a little observation and a question:

OCD does that to me.

SA causes me

He is a NARC

What are all the labels doing for you? Are they giving you insight so that things can change, or are they keeping you stuck by creating explanations for things occurring so that you don't have to change?

I DO have OCD. At one time, I was on Zoloft for it. I made me devoid of all emotion, so I will never go that route again. I live with its manifestations, which are fairly mild. It doesn't mean that I feel no responsibility. I can resist, but it makes me anxious. I prefer to act and get relief from that.

When I first posted about my OM, Fiber made the observation that he was narc, judging by what he was doing. I did some research and came to the conclusion that he probably is. So what?

Please point out the thread where I said 'SA causes me'. Thanks.

I don't care to change some things at the moment, but this board and the people here have helped me with the narc OM situation. I feel strong enough to let him go.

pinkpony...I know he will likely treat her the same way. His track record with women is abysmal. In fact, I had told a mutual friend when he started flirting with me and this person told me to watch out; that he didn't treat women very well.

Too bad I didn't listen...

My X is already cheating on the woman he left me for. I truly feel sorry for her, whenever I don't despise and have contempt for that hypocritical bitch. Glad that you got rid of him. Are you involved in an affair at all now, or did you kick them both to the curb?

No, I still have the one who is overseas at the moment...

I also have anxiety disorders/OCD which fueled my compulsive, sex addicted behaviors. I was also manipulated by a pathological narcissist. Using such labels can make it easy to see our locus of control as external rather that realistically internal. It tends to absolve us of responsibility.

I heard going asking a question, maybe making an observation, not leveling an accusation.

I took some liberties in interpreting from your references to being a sex addict when I said, SA causes. You did not literally write that.

I am just offering something to think about, questions to consider.

We are all much more complex than any labels or diagnoses. I like to always question and thus, offered what I would want someone to offer me.

Going, I apologize for reacting in a testy and defensive manner. I suppose labels do have a way of simplifying things for me. I am not sure it means that I am absolving myself of responsibility, though. I know the OCD is internal and it is ultimately up to me whether I act on it or not. The SA...ditto. The narc? I have no control over his narcissism, but it is within my control not to see him or engage in sex chat with him again...

I actually think he may unfriend me if he does not like me asking him that question. Time will tell.

No apology necessary. We cool! Hope you have a fun holiday weekend!

I am Canadian, :). My holiday weekend was last weekend, but thanks. Enjoy yours, :).

It was a false alarm...he was back this evening, with bells on. Everything is status quo. Sigh.

Dang...pinkpony...I fed the shark again. I don't know why. For some reason, I can't resist him...