As thanks for always being there for me mid, I hope you have a great weekend.

I miss you too granit!!!! Hehe yes, looking toward to Sweden, especially if we can meet up! Wish I could spend longer there.. I must say that my relationship with my boyfriend is pretty darn perfect already, but a Swedish beer is sure to improve it further! He is so gorgeous I want to crush him.

Yes Phoebe, I realise how important it is to not play with my hair. I'm going to try harder not to play with it. Really hard. I can Play with something else instead. I need a Cush ball or something like that.

Argh mid that was meant to be 'aw thanks' not 'as thanks' !!!!! It reads funny the way I wrote it, like if you weren't supportive of me I'd wish you a bad weekend!

Oh and Phoebe I don't leave til august 17. Ages away. But considering we have been planning this for years and uv been wanting to do it for 6 years, it's coming up soon! I went to a really expensive private college so u wasn't able to travel in the year after I left school or during college as I was always saving so hard.

Hello!
Make your own Squeeze Stress Ball, actually I think I will do one for myself!
Wow, have you planned this trip 6 years?
Hugs.

Hehehe noooo. I've just wanted to travel to Europe for 6 years. That's a long time! I don't plan on waiting that long for our next big holiday after this one hehe. We've been planning this trip since.. December last year. And that was pretty much booking the airfares and deciding what countries to go to and how long to go for.

Hmm I think I've made one of those before. But I want one with lots of tiny strings of rubber coming off it, know what I mean? They're really cool and it's like playing with hair... kind of.

Like this!

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51dKae06j8L.jpg&imgrefurl=http://rapidshare-premium.pl/dotpay/koosh-ball%26page%3D2&usg=__7grMOqyZc30DPZ0nG2FtFf5iDs0=&h=500&w=500&sz=62&hl=en&start=0&sig2=XGg8KzcXbsgshs2mFSigjw&zoom=1&tbnid=eBz4vh3WzoRS8M:&tbnh=146&tbnw=147&ei=WF2yTeLKPJD4swPApMXZCw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dkush%2Bball%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1262%26bih%3D641%26tbs%3Disz:m%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=509&vpy=309&dur=1019&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=103&ty=169&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0

WOAH what a massive link!

And it doesn't even work. Ugh. asdgfsldyfgaksuyftgweyfg.

I know the kind you mean!

I think travelling and new experiences are a great way to reward yourself...and distract yourself too - if you are busy having a fulfilling life I think trich is easier to control. I dream of having a holiday where we travel around Italy for a month = its just hard with a cat to look after and my husband doesn't get the long school hols to do these things in - but maybe next summer he might get a leave of absense to come with me!

I know the kind you mean!

I think travelling and new experiences are a great way to reward yourself...and distract yourself too - if you are busy having a fulfilling life I think trich is easier to control. I dream of having a holiday where we travel around Italy for a month = its just hard with a cat to look after and my husband doesn't get the long school hols to do these things in - but maybe next summer he might get a leave of absense to come with me!

Bumpy drier balls. Those blue things. I swear by them.

I'm posting a picture

Frack lost my post.mrs kolo italy for a month is a dream of mine too. Lots of good food and wine, cycling around.. Tuscany, the amalfi coast, cinque terre.... When my boyfriend is a teacher we will have the same problem.

Saw the pic Phoebe, reckon kush is better. It's got hair!!!!! Hehe rubber ball wars.

Woweeee there is a trich retreat in Australia. It's in Victoria, which is the state next to the state I live in (NSW). It sounds awesome, there are workshops for dealing with shame etc and awareness, there's meditation, bushwalks, swimming, haircuts, massages.....

It's on my mother's birthday (it spans 2-3 days). So I would have to tell my parents, maybe, about where I'm actually going and why. We have never ever discussed "trichotilomania" before. I'm not even sure if they know what I have has a name. My mother was the only one who ever spoke to me about my pulling, and all she said was "stop." "why haven't you stopped". It makes me so sad and mad that they never investigated my pulling or tried to help me (to my knowledge). The thought of bringing this up with them TERRIFIES ME. Not only because I have never discussed it with them, but I know that they, especially my father, will feel a great sense of regret, sadness and rubbishness, when they find out how much this has affected my life, and what I've actually been going through. I don't want my dad to feel sad for me... I don't want him to feel ashamed of himself... (My mum is a different story, she's so hopped up on meds, slightly brain damaged from a day of complete memory loss due to meds - yes doctor prescribed and all above board.. that's she's not really my mum any more..)

The thought of telling them, makes me feel so so so sick. So anxious, like before an exam. A BIG ONE.

Argh............ I'm going to allow myself some time to plan how I will approach it, I am thinking maybe I'll buy a copy of Fred Penzel's book, and ask them both to read it. They would read it if I asked them for sure.

Whew...... This is the one unresolved issue in my life. I feel so not in control.

Stomach is in knots. Writing this all done has not really helped the feeling of anxiousness.

Does anyone else have a similar situation? xoxoxox I'm ready to cry...

Maybe I don't need to talk about this with them. Does anyone have advice?

Wow, Sam, it was good to get that off your chest. I'm thinking.....

I have always found it very difficult to be any less than honest with my mother. Dad is a little more remote, and I know there are things he would rather not know about, and his loving (I'm sincere) solution for issues is to be analytical, scientific - that's how he deals with things. My mother is all emotion and worry, and "what will people think"? I love her dearly, but in many ways it would be so much easier to not be completely honest with her - for her & for me. I have learned in my middle age to hold back - partially because she is elderly and I want to protect her from stress. I hate not being completely honest with her, because it puts distance between us.

It makes me sad to read that you feel that your mum isn't really your mum any more. You have been forced by circumstance to take a step back at such a young age. I hope there is a resolution for that, that your mother, who can't be very old, can come back from where she has gone, can can find inner peace. I would think that finding peace with this relationship will be something that you need to work on for a long time.

Don't feel that you have to protect your father. If he feels sad for you, he will also feel joy about your success. Can you find time to be alone with him, and talk with him about this? I think you will want to share with him something that is such a part of your life. With your mother, I think maybe there are too many obstacles right now. You don't need to take on too much, which I suspect you have a tendency to do (coming from someone who does it all the time).

Despite my proclivity for honesty, I feel instinctively that perhaps you don't have to be too honest with them right at this moment, but that you should work towards it, for the good of your relationship with them. The workshop sounds awesome. My goodness!!! Is it a significant birthday for your mother? Can you invent a reason related to work as to why you can't be there to celebrate? It feels weird for me to even write that last sentence, but sometimes, sometimes, you have to look at the whole picture, not at all the little parts, and total honesty may not be the best strategy. Go to the workshop, keep your reasons for going to yourself, but promise yourself to tell them about trich , and create a strategy for doing so.