You're doing it. I'm hoping all of us have a wonderful day today and tonight as well!

You're right, hubby is noticing the positive about what you do! Hurrah! That's always a wonderful feeling, when they notice what we are doing right! Smile faces, you got em!

Yes, forgive yourself for being so hard on yourself. Breathe, calm, and focus on the you-you are doing this!


Hurrah for doing it, and for seeing the progress!

Thank you for the pep talk! :)

" I can't expect to jump right into being pull free just because it's a new month." I am feeling that, too! I am thinking "okay, now I am motivated, it should just be easy to be PF again!" Does not work that way, unfortunately....it takes a few days of awareness. One of the many frustrating things about trich....that element of it that is always out of our control. It will get easier!!

Exactly! We just have to remember that it gets easier and a certain amount if gritting your teeth is often needed in the first few days. I gave myself a little pep talk just before, telling myself that I will forgive myself for unconscious pulls but I'm not allowed to consciously pull. I just have to tough it out for a bit.

I'm doing well with my aim to not pull consciously :) I stop when I notice I'm pulling. I don't berate myself. This is good :)

Great job, that will make the automatic pulling stop pretty soon!!

Thanks Manda. Unfortunately that fell apart by the evening. My husband was not well and I was worried about him. And I ended staying up til 4am looking after him. We think it was heat exhaustion as he is a teacher and was out in the sun the whole day at an athletics carnival. He had a bit of sunburn. I think I might have scored a 10 yesterday. Which for the moment has scared me good.

Sometimes fear is the best motivator. It's not a positive motivator, but it seems like most of us agree that it can take a bad day to make us want to do better to avoid that kind of damage in the future. I hope today is an easier day for you!

That's a great August! Lots of 2's and 3's and hardly any 8's, 9's, or 10's! I agree with your Hubby, you are doing so well, don't get down on yourself!

Hope you were able to rescue that carpet. At least you didn't spill wine all over an expensive white shirt/dress or something, ha ha ha.

Also sorry to hear about Hubby's sunburn : ( He is lucky that you were there to look after him! He is going to be peeling like a potato in a few days (if he is the type to peel after a sunburn).

Remember Chelsea's comment: "If I never had a bad day, I would forget why I needed to work so hard and would become complacent. This way the 'fight' in us is continually rekindled, and we are getting better all the while."

Keep this in mind as you go about your next day. The bad days happen for a reason. I am trying to keep this in mind as well, after having a rough start to September. Hugs to you.

Thanks Manda. I don't want fear to be a part of this, but at the same time it does help. Yes, today is going far better; delightfully pull free. It's 4pm, so this is about the time that things can get harder. However I'm feeling positive. That fear, hm, and disgust, has really made me not want to pull. I hate the way my scalp feels afterward, I hate the hair on the pillow/lounge, I hate feeling weak, I hate that I feel so horrible. I really neede a break from that shitty feeling that I felt all day yesterday today.

Thanks booyah. The carpet is pretty much good. There's a very very slight mark but hey. And you're right, at least it wasn't on a nice expensive white shirt or top, though I don't really own one of those! The sunburn wasn't really the issue and in fact today it's not really even visible. It was the heat exhaustion which is like a milder form of heat stroke. It's horrible, I've had it before. You feel very heavy, but light headed, and you get bad chills followed by a fever followed by chills followed by a fever. I made him drink heaps of water. The bad days happen for a reason, hmm yes they are helpful in their own special way!

So yesterday was great (trich wise). A nice break from the negative feelings I feel when I'm pulling. I got a 1 (2 hairs). subconscious. Today, I didn't have the same desperate desire to not pull, so I've been pulling a bit. I have a rating of a low 4 right now, it's 1pm. Just gotta breathe, change activities, get some sunshine, etc etc when I find myself pulling.

I read this on trichjournal (Beckie0's trichjournal on tumblr) and loved it so I've copied it below for you my friends!:

"Distressed by pull free month
I’m already reading posts from Trichers in distress over having “failed” in No Pull September. We’re talking about serious upset and feelings of failure - one teen has written that she feels embarrassed to tell our community she’s failed as this is only day three today.
I feel so saddened. I knew this would happen and I did write about this last month. Guys, do not be pressured by our community to be pull free or even attempt this challenge - because if we could stop ourselves pulling - we wouldn’t have Trichotillomania. Furthermore, if you do choose/did choose to partake in this and pull anyway - please tell yourself that you are not a failure - because you’re not. You’re a FIGHTER.
You do not have to be pull free to be successful in this community, even if hundreds of people are pushing that on you.
Believe me when I say that success with Trichotillomania is more than the amount of hair that is on your head, but how you feel inside <3.
I’m sending love and hugs of support to any of you who are in distress over pulling in No Pull September xxxx.
Rebecca.
i disagree with pull free"

That last line wasn't meant to be there, it was a tag that I accidentally copied along with the text.

I have conflicted feelings about the BeckieO post. I think it is important to keep attainable goals in mind, and setting yourself up for failure will only lead to negative feelings. But, trich is about more than pulling out hair. It is a manifestation of uncontrolled anxiety and stress and often a reflection of poor lifestyle habits that we should work on changing anyway, like lack of sleep or relaxation. So I think it is important to strive towards controlling trich, just from a mental health perspective. At least for myself, I have really negative feelings when I allow myself to consciously pull and that makes me feel MUCH worse than making a real effort to be PF and failing some of the time. I think BeckieO is great, but her method of accepting trich by not trying to control pulling is not for everyone! Of course, people should do whatever makes them feel best, and we all know that expecting to become PF overnight is just not a goal anyone can accomplish, and no one should feel bad for the inevitable slip ups and failures!

Good job with the lower numbers!

C, my dear, you are a champ. I love your comments about pull-free September. I guess I missed that memo, because it certainly ain't that for me. We are here to nurture and encourage. If a PF Sept is a challenge you want to embrace, I wholeheartedly support that, but there is no need for shame or embarrassment if you slip.

Glad to hear that hubby has rallied. Heat stroke is a biatch.

I hear what you are saying about the disgust. I've been having a bad time & will confess shortly.

Manda - Hmm, I never got the impression that Beckie doesn't agree with trying to control her pulling. Because she encourages barriers and toys like tangles. I think she is against "pull free" as the be all and end all. Because people who are early on in their trich journey or are uneducated about trich want to be pull free and then they become devastated when they can't achieve it. Because you're right that "trich is about more than pulling out hair. It is a manifestation of uncontrolled anxiety and stress and often a reflection of poor lifestyle habits that we should work on changing anyway, like lack of sleep or relaxation." When Beckie speaks, I don't feel like we are her target audience. We are very educated about trich and we have a lot of experience and we have healthy views. These poor people who are like "yeah I'll be pull free this September" then "fail" almost immediately, I feel so bad for them. One of the main things that keeps us in the vicious cycle of trich is that feeling of failure. That feeling of defeat caused by countless failed attempts to "just stop". I think she just wants to let those people know that there's another way. And she doesn't want "pull free" (with NO instruction on how to achieve this) being touted as the mantra of the trichsters. Well that's my opinion and what I've gleaned from watching heaps of her videos. I don't agree with everything she says but I do agree with her pushing acceptance over "pull free".