cjpfaz
Status: Working at it but keep messing my life up.
Mood:
Horrible
Offline
- Thursday dentist said she thinks I have mouth cancer and go for a biopsy 11th.Therapists and I are not doing well. Wednesday session was not good. Texted her yesterday about mouth and have not heard from her.Stressing over both. Trying to...
- My whole childhood and young adult, my father would kiss me like hello and bye on the lips.. It was normal thing to me. Now looking back it does seem normal, am I over-thinking this. I was sexual abused my my father.
- I received an email. She said I don't no how to you to respond to the impulses and suicidal feelings other than telling you don't do it and you know what I'd say. So I wrote her back explained how my thinking is and what I need from her when I...
- Want to share a good thing, last August did a DNA test and research and found my biological mom. I we have hit it off, but I live in Maryland and she lives in IL. She is coming out to see me for a couple of days in July. The only bad part I...
- A way to lose me. She seems burned out with me. She said she never quit and I would have to fire her first. It is like she wants me to get over the past and my self-hate. Cannot help but think she is the one that wants it so bad.I am hurt and...
- Have mood swings from bad to very bad. Tried emailing therapist since Thursday and my doctor today. Feel so alone in my fighting this. Have not been on this site because I been feeling really bad. My therapist has been basically saying that...
- Even with my messed up food I managed to walk a mile. Rode the exercise bike 9 minutes and go 1 1/2 miles. I also am going to be under my point total for the first time since I join Weight Watchers last Friday night. The weather as excellent...
- they I think might have a stress fracture in my foot. Been walking on it for 3 months with pain. Get x-ray Tuesday. Saturday and Sunday I walked a mile each day, but paid for it. I depend on buses and walking to get places. Now a might...
- Another night of not sleeping. Which is a form of self-abuse to me. I have not been reaching out to other online and offline. Trying to start to change that. It is a very ending cycle of depression, anxiety and self-hatred. I have been...
- I find my depression for one keeps me from reaching out to others. I have withdrawn from being close to other people. I have be a loner for far to long. My therapist is always wanting me to go out where I will get to be with people. I know I...
- I am going for long-term so I am thinking I should let them do it. Been at job nine years.
- I am a member of the PTSD group. Found out about this group and joined at least back in October, but never came over. I could not get myself here. Not sure why. Since joining I found out that my adopted father is my real father. I was sexually...
- Have to go off mood stabilizer, even though I got very suicidal last weekend after being off of it last week. I was just getting better. Now I'm very physically sick again from the medication. Had to miss work last week, so this week I just took...
- My enemy is my bipolor depression, anxiety and self-hate. For medical reasons I had to go off my mood stabilizer and now I have fallen apart. Each second seems like eternity and i'm having a hard time staying in the moment but i have to because if...
- Happy holidays!