Can we call this a balanced post? A positive balanced with a negative? I know I feel as compelled to balance my *positives* as my *negatives* Too much sugar rots the teeth, among other things.

.Finding and scoring with your bio mom is a spectacular positive in my book. Ditto for the upcoming visit in July. Supportive hopes for the evolution.

More supportive hopes for managing the depression and self-hate. Thems is mean-assed demons. . . I still haven't conquered mine, but I've made some progress on calming the beasts. Works in progress. . .

CJ, doubt your bio mother will care about your weight.
Sounds like a familiar vicious circle: depressed-gain weight-depressed over weight- gain more weight- depressed, just on and on. I know many dynamic women who are overweight but accept who they are, weight and all. You see many of them on TV. For you, the weight is a negative that weighs on you. Healing hugs as you continue your journey,

What a coincidence, I live in Maryland and used to live in Illinois. Congrats on having the courage to find your biological mom in the first place. Second congrats on having the courage to meet her. That's a lot of bravery going on.

I'm trying to lose weight, too. I'm working hard to lose the weight my insurance company requires me to lose before I can qualify for bariatric weight loss surgery in May. I know what a struggle it can be first hand. Hang in there, we're working on it.

Congratulations on finding your biological mom! That took courage!
I would encourage you to follow up with your healthcare team about your other concerns. Your weight does not change your value, but I can understand wanting to feel the best you can. Have you considered seeing a dietitian?