Dad kissed me hello and goodbye on the lips while I was a girl, but stopped doing so when I was a teenager. I consider that "normal" though I always find it hard to define what is normal and what isn't. I wouldn't have wanted him to continue doing so once I was an adolescent. That wouldn't have been "normal" to me.
I have been sexually abused too, though not by my father, but by my aunt's husband. If he had kissed me on the lips that would have been "not normal at all", not only because he wasn't my dad but also because of the history behind it. I felt ashamed and scared even when he looked at me, it felt all wrong.
I don't have a "yes" or "no" answer for you, sorry. Maybe others do... hugs.

I believe it is normal in some cultures but I strongly cringe at it. I put a stop to it with my own father, brother and sister (mom never did it). They weren't happy. Some people get mad when you set a boundary. They experience rejection. Yes, it is rejection - move back, outside my boundary!

I agree with donna.

My father never did it.

I swear that my mother did it (from time to time) just because she knew how uncomfortable that it made me. She was just that kind of person. With her...it wasn't sexual...it was more of a form of being able to make me submit.


I think that it's one of those "gray" areas. Like tickling, being naked around your kids, certain discussions. It is all normal and even healthy in families where there's a good bond. The three of us will still have tickle fights. But we're evenly matched, they're not constant, and there are unspoken boundaries. When lines get crossed, we all know it back off, repair the relationship, and go on.

In abusive families...the lines: are often blamed on one person...and they're made to feel like something is wrong with them for being upset about it.


How to put it. I often slept with my son up until he was about age 12. What he didn't know is that I would position pillows and such that protected his privacy and my own. I still remember giving him a very nice thick robe for Christmas that year. He tossed it aside. Within 6 months...that robe was his BFF. He wore it to and from the bathroom, if he wasn't dressed the robe was on, etc,etc. The "stupid" present, became much loved. He was no longer fighting me for positioning those pillows. And very shortly he never asked to sleep with me again. Growing up. ***parental tear mixed with pride***

My mom always kissed me goodbye on the lips..... A quick and loving smack.....There was nothing at all but the good kind of love in it

I think it would come down to the 'innocence' of the kiss and intent behind it..... xo

i didn't have a close enough family to know, but it was very, very common when i moved to south africa. not so common here in canada, so it threw me for a loop when my ex's mom planted one on my lips when i met her for the first time at the airport.

In South America we kind of do the cheek "air kiss" like what you see Hollywood folks do on TV talk shows. That's what my folks did. Culturally, kissing on the lips would have been transgressive for us, but I think it depends on cultures.

On the other hand, in South America men always gave each other a loose (not close) hug after shaking hands, a hug complete with a pat or two on the back before release. I had to learn men didn't do that here in the US when I moved to the States.