sks

so much is clearer now as i view my tormented life.  i have had burdens to carry, hurdles to leap, mountains to scale and pits to climb out of that would be too much for most superheroes. it sounds...

an ironic occurance during toms last year was that i met a woman over the ph wanting to buy one of mmy dogs. i felt deep instant rapport. she didnt buy a dog, and we became immediate friends with a...

so much is clearer now as i view my tormented life.  i have had burdens to carry, hurdles to leap, mountains to scale and pits to climb out of that would be too much for most superheroes. it sounds...

an ironic occurance during toms last year was that i met a woman over the ph wanting to buy one of mmy dogs. i felt deep instant rapport. she didnt buy a dog, and we became immediate friends with a...

many months have passed since tom died and thankfully was finally freed from suffering. i managed well afterwards by putting it all into another persons life..not mine. i never knew or loved this...

so much is clearer now as i view my tormented life.  i have had burdens to carry, hurdles to leap, mountains to scale and pits to climb out of that would be too much for most superheroes. it sounds...

an ironic occurance during toms last year was that i met a woman over the ph wanting to buy one of mmy dogs. i felt deep instant rapport. she didnt buy a dog, and we became immediate friends with a...

many months have passed since tom died and thankfully was finally freed from suffering. i managed well afterwards by putting it all into another persons life..not mine. i never knew or loved this...

tom is so sick today. cannot stop him from vomiting. he is a rack of bones and each heaving episode takes energy he doesnt have  and he shudders weakly all over from the effort afterwards. he hasnt...

toms pain is not being controled by morphin today. i am getting panicky.

increasingly hard to see  toms cancer, but not seeing it isnt any better because i know how fast it changes...it is astonishing how fast it grows. it seems like a parasite with a mind, consuming...

how do other people handle this? i have had nightmares all my life about people i love dying horrible deaths and their flesh being ripped open or them being eaten by sharks or some other animal, or...

i got over feeling sorry for myself about thanksgiving, feeling so sad remembering how tom has enjoyed the food especially in the past and how he has stopped eating except for a rare drink of...

i am full of fear of the future and feeling totally inadequate. feel like a  real coward. once again face-to-face with my societal limitations. even though i know i have so much going for me in...

i cannot imagine life after tom dies, cannot imagine life after this 5 yr ordeal. it has turned so horrendous in the past 4 months with the worst yet to come, will i have anything left inside to...