Tazmom09
Status: Struggling with self-medication. Still on hiatus.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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This is a cruel curiosity, why my badge thing says i've been sober since January. I wish! I don't know how that error got on here, but it's not exactly encouraging. almost mocking. Need to figure out...
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This is when i get to feeling desperately hopeless. My anxiety is through the roof, no matter how many benzos I've taken to try to calm...deep breathing, meditation nothing is helping. I'm angry...
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I'm so effing tired of taking medication. I'm glad i gave up BCPs a long time ago, although if i were to get pregnant I'd stand climb a phone pole in a lightning storm.Maybe it was to make me feel...
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Well, I went a whole 24hrs + ('bout 36?) without drinking, which is grand, but I ate a whole pint of B & Js yesterday. Why can't it just be about making it thru a day/night without drinking,...
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I've been sending out pics lately from recent trip, and (as is customary, i suppose) folks send back nice comments on how the family looks, etc. I have often said "thank you," and at the least have...
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Finding no real dregs in the army of hidden vodka bottles, tried to open the disgusting nuvo red velvet liqueur but my husband must have sealed it tight so.............just took a couple of...
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realizing also that my colleague complimented me on my dress, and i was like "you would wear it better than me." That's not a good "accepting compliments" moment. i haven't had any. But...
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Haven't quite identified the triggers...just being near obnoxious men, i guess (including my husband, of course)...feel like (see title)...grrrrrr. felt bad enough to go looking through my store...
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still no updates...i think that, if anyone has attempted to say a nice thing to me at all, I probably didn't even notice. Ha! well, that's better than actively resisting...
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so, my counselor doesn't think I'm borderline. She thinks i present nothing like. I responded to her that the key word is "present.' I contain an awful lot and work hard to hide my...
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I'm really sick of this roller-coaster. I have no idea why I'm spiraling downward yet again. I can't identify a single trigger, certainly none that were absent during the previous few days when i...
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I haven't received any compliments since i formed this goal, so I haven't really had to "work" at anything. makes me think i might have taken the easy way out. But i knew that this was a very...
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So this is the best I've felt all week (i.e. "OK") and i have no idea why. i wish i had better control over my moods. anyway, i'm documenting the fact that I did not think of suicide even once...
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...for someone who doesn't even do facebook and who prizes her anonymity and privacy, this online journaling thing (indeed this whole support group enterprise) could be as foolhardy. but i am going...