hope20z's Profile | DailyStrength

Status: Those with a mental illness are usually the highest in intellect.

Mood: Good

Offline

About Me

Age: 39

Gender: Male

Life can be tough sometimes. I know, I have been through enough to understand that not everything will go as planned. I hope that my future will serve me well and I can go on to be successful in my ventures. I am at the University of Colorado at Denver and I am studying Political Science and hoping to go on to teach. I volunteer the Museum of Nature and Science and the Denver Art Museum and I love doing so. There\'s nothing like really giving back to your community plus it gives me something to do and something that I am looking forward to. I don\'t have many friends here in Denver, thus I stay at home with my dad most of the time. I go out with my mom rarely any more and I don\'t see my brother at all. I have Bipolar II Disorder along with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD, multiple personality disorder and many more that come along with all of my current disorders. With this I take amazingly large cocktail with a huge amount of tranqs.

Activity

New Friend

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/24/2016

hope20z became friends with CarlaBent.
New Friend

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/24/2016

hope20z became friends with CarlaBent.
Let's Change!

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 10/07/2018

0

Have you ever taken the time to look back on old journals and think... "this is disturbing." Well, I am doing that right now. I was so sick I couldn't type correctly! I honestly cannot believe I was the person typing out these thoughts and beliefs. I was miserable, lonely, and suicidal. I hate that people experience this. That they have this amount of pain, which is hidden from the world. Why are we ashamed of this depression and anxiety? Why not talk about it? We should! We need to learn...
New Friend

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 12/31/2016

hope20z became friends with jessekay.
New Friend

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 01/03/2017

hope20z became friends with Lukeano.
Sex.

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 10/07/2016

0

I take medications that effect my body in different ways. I have always had side effects from these drugs. Recently I have begun dating and opened myself up sexually to other men. I enjoy sex and I look forward to pleaseing the person I am with. However, I am finding that I am unable to maintain an erection. I don't know if there is a drug that can help me with this or if it's something that I am on thant I really shouldn't be. I can tell you that it is embarrasing not being able to perform...
Alcoholism

Serious.

Posted by: hope20z

Last Reply: limogesguy 10/10/2016

9

I don't believe that I am taking my journey in recovery seriously. I can't remeber that idea I once had in my head to keep me from drinking. I was always a social drinker and enjoied partaking while out with friends, family and co-workers. Co-workers are the reason I went into detox and rehab in the first place. Now, at my new job, I find myself grabbing a beer with friends or a bottomless mimosa brunch during the weekend like it's no big deal. If I drink during my work week I find that I tend...
Joined New Group

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 10/07/2016

hope20z joined the group Drug Addictions.
Bipolar Disorder

Debt.

Posted by: hope20z

Last Reply: chris138 10/08/2016

10

Since I began expiercing the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder about 8 years ago I have been the worst when dealing with money. I don't know what's wrong with me and money, why can't I contorl myself from myself? Years ago I got myself into trouble. I maxed out about 12 or so credit cards and just pushed the bills and the collection attempts away. I was able to dodge everything until a creditor was able to garnish my wages and empty my bank account. I was forced to file for bankruptcy inorder...
Anxiety

my seat tomorrow.

Posted by: hope20z

Last Reply: djchurn 10/02/2016

2

I know this is an odd thing to be anoious about and there are bigger things to worry about. However, this has me worried. Very worried. Each quarter at work we switch desks to get a different expierence. I saw the layout before the move and knew where i was going and who I was sitting next to. But, the other day (when I was not at work) someone told me that I was not in my planned seat and he could not find my name tag. I immidiately texted my superviser while he was on vaction to ask about...
tomorrow

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 10/01/2016

0

Tomorrow I return to work after the weekend and the fourth quarter starts. Which means a new seat and schedule. I ma supposed to be assigned to a seat next to my friend Aieda. Everything has been in the plan for so long. On Thursday I learn that they didn't switch me into the correct seat. I was placed in a different area. I think that I am sitting in almost the same seat, but one over, where my lead used to sit. I really dont want to sit there. It's right infront of all the manager and that...
College

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/30/2016

0

I was so high on anxiety during that move-in day I could not move! I could not move! This was something, leaving home for the three-hour drive to Colorado Springs to attend the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. Being in college, living in the dorms, was a high all in itself. I thrived on the social atmosphere it gave me. I wanted to everyone’s closest friends. I lost my attention to my school work, those Cs soon became Ds, Fs, pass/fail and I frequently would drop classes to have...
entry.zt

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/26/2016

0

I don't know what to write, but I want to write something. I am sorry I have. It journaled here in a while. I thought it easier and better to journal on tumblr, but the support here is profound and unmatched. This is truly a great support community. I look forward to journaling here more and often. I have been through some recent and no recent events that you should know about. That should be recorded here. I won't start back stracking now, I'm submitting via my phone this evening. I hope to...
Bipolar Disorder

Discussion Comment

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/25/2016

hope20z commented on the discussion Hello, I'm new..
New Friend

Posted by: hope20z

Posted: 09/25/2016

hope20z became friends with andiets.

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