SearchingAndWaiting

I think if I weren't going through a time of depression, I'd feel happier tonight. That's not meant to be funny; it's an explanation of a kind of "glass ceiling" that constrains me now...

I feel so bad it's almost like I'm emotionally dead. Someone please help.

I've meditated on 30 of the last 34 evenings :-).

Raw hurtUnencumbered by thoughtStop      Realize            StillExperience feeling      with no movement

"Looking for G-d in a girl"TouchSensitiveFirst timeAwaiting my first timeTouch    Spark        Wild    PreciousAway in an ethereal placeYou stand with meWith a look that conveys seas of...

I’m traveling in some combination of New York City and Paris. I’m going through stores, maybe shopping malls, and streets. It’s a rich landscape.I keep meeting friends/acquaintances/former...

Am going through a particularly difficult time. Loneliness has washed over me. Things don't seem real.I want so badly— NEED— to get my feelings out to someone. I NEED to share what's going in...

In the course of a day: I learned that a friend who is 34 years old and who always has been friendly and a good listener is a recovering alcoholic. As of just two, maybe two-and-a-half, years...

Things are intertwined. A little while ago, I posted a deep, honest message on Craigslist with what I was looking for in a girl. I didn't know what to expect by way of responses. In the end, one...

Things in 2008 I'm grateful for: When I didn't have any place to live, acquaintances from my religious/social community housed me. When that time ran out, I had the resources to stay in a...

The loneliness hurts so much.Please, please let me have greater intimacy.

I realize that the wanting has to stop if the anguish is to end.Just like the Buddhists say.

I've done it.I've gotten to the end.I can now contact the girl. These weeks have gone by, and I've had no contact with her— except for a single e-mail I sent telling her that I wasn't ready to...

I just had a productive session with my therapist, so I've been feeling better.