Alliegator
Status: So fat
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I just cut myself quite badly. So much for going a year without cutting. I guess one slip up isn't too bad. I have been having a really hard time lately. I have slipped into a deep, angry, fitful depression. I can't live like this anymore.
- Vacations are so weird. I have a lot of trouble realizing that they are real life. I always feel like I put real life on hold and I'm just floating somewhere in a sort of alternate universe. Then when the vacation is over it feels like the whole...
- I'm currently sitting in my common room at my dorm with my friends. I am able to detach myself from the situation I am in and I realize how I have so much pain and anguish inside me but I use the outside world to distract myself from it. I don't...
- I have been having the urge lately to do something I am not supposed to do. I have wanted to cut but I told myself that if I didn't cut for a year I would get a tattoo (something I have wanted for a couple years) as a reward. I've also thought of...
- I have been having the urge lately to do something I am not supposed to do. I have wanted to cut but I told myself that if I didn't cut for a year I would get a tattoo (something I have wanted for a couple years) as a reward. I've also thought of...
- SO this really isn't a big deal but every time I look at the woman at the top left corner of the DS page I wish I was as skinny as her. I even feel like it can be triggering for me.
- When it comes to the end of the day I always think about how much I don't want tomorrow to come. I put off going to bed because I know that as soon as I wake up I have to start all over again. Each day feels like a huge mountain climb. I have to...
- I hate that at the end of the day when I'm getting ready for bed I always review my day and worry about if I have made an ass out of myself. I end up regretting things I've said or done. I know its really not a big deal because I'm just being...
- Well I think I have i officially relapsed into some sort of eating disorder. I definitely eat but I count calories and I haven't eaten more than 1,700. I know that sounds like a lot of food but I have also been exercising for at least 40 minutes...
- Do any of you feel like you don't really experience any real emotions? I have been on effexor for 3 months now and while it has gotten rid of the depression I am now not able to feel. I mean I have surface emotions that last a couple minutes to an...
- I think I am relapsing into anorexia. Part of me is scared to let the disorder take over. I know how horrible it is and how hard recovery is. The other part of me is scared to eat. I can't get fat. I don't want to force myself to eat and then...
- I think I am just going to end it tonight. I can't take this anymore. I hate my thoughts in my head. I just can't trudge through one more extremely long day. Life isn't worth it. I just don't want to do this anymore.
- I've noticed that ever since I started taking effexor that I can't feel sad any more. I mean the drug is great...it lifted my depression. I've actually been completely depression free since I started it but I still need to feel sad sometimes and I...
- I am having vivid flashbacks to when I was hospitalized last year for suicidal ideation. It was a traumatic experience for me and I don't like to think about it. Having the flashbacks is keeping me from being able to focus on my homework and...
- Hey I could use some support right now. I'm having a lot of problems with my mom. Its been really hard for me....I feel very sad inside.