Alliegator
Status: So fat
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- I have been eating so much lately. I'm pretty sure I have gained a couple pounds. This is not okay with me. I feel fat and squishy. I really need to work out but I had to go and sprain my ankle. I need to work off all of this grossness. I wish...
- SO I just got a call from a case worker at my insurance company. Apparently they assigned me a social worker to have on-call and to do monthly check ups on me. I really don't know how to take this. Part of me is offended...I don't see my self as...
- I just want to let everyone know that you are in this world for a reason. I know right now you feel like you are at the bottom of a deep dark hole that you will never be able to climb out of. Just getting out of bed can seem like an impossible...
- There is so much pain inside of me. I don't know what to do. I can't deal with it. I am not strong enough. I want the pain to go away.
- I really want to cut myself to shreds right now. I'm not supposed to be cutting. I told my psychologist I would try to stop....I'm not sure I'm even trying very hard. If I try to suppress the urge to cut all I want to do is binge. I don't know...
- I finally had a breakthrough. I have not been letting myself feel. I block out any hint of the pain inside me from my mom's emotional abuse or from all the self deprecation I do. I try to cover it up...to be strong. Tonight I finally let myself...
- I'm having a horrible Christmas. The whole story is in my journals. I just really need some support right now.
- I think my mom is starting to upset my dad too which kind of scares me because he's always been the one person that wasnt affected by her the majority of the time...at least outwardly. I worry that especially with me gone at school....hes starting...
- I need hugs. I need someone to cuddle with. I need someone to tell me that they love me. I need someone to protect me.
- I miss my eating disorder a lot right now. I'm sick of using cutting as a way of coping with everything going on in my head. I liked being anorexic better. I wish I still had the self control and willpower to be anorexic but I've become lazy and...
- I just cut myself again. I'm not supposed to. I told a lot of people that I wouldn't do it. I just want to shred myself to bits. I hate myself I hate my life. I can't be angry at people. I just turn it inwards. I don't know what to do with...
- I just cut myself again. I'm not supposed to. I told a lot of people that I wouldn't do it. I just want to shred myself to bits. I hate myself I hate my life. I can't be angry at people. I just turn it inwards. I don't know what to do with...
- I can't decide whether to cut or not. I really want to right now I know it will make me feel better short term. The other side of me knows I shouldn't and that is won't really solve my problems. My psychologist doesn't want me cutting anymore...
- I'm feeling really fat and lazy and squishy right now. I hate myself for letting myself get like this. the reasonable part of my brain knows im not any fatter.I hate my body its gross. Fat everywhere.
- I'm feeling really fat and lazy and squishy right now. I hate myself for letting myself get like this. the reasonable part of my brain knows im not any fatter.I hate my body its gross. Fat everywhere.