Finished

So as of this very moment i am done with trying to get any kind of real help for how i feel and the things that run through my head that i want to do to myself.
I made a last minute appointment with my regular therapist ( because i respect how much he wants to try and help me ) so that i can atleast tell him that im not going to be making anymore appointments with him or anyone else because i am sick and tired of being given false hope from everyone in this shitty ass pathetic little town of mine, For example when i had my appointment with the new therapist and even before that the counselor at the same place once againthey were terrified that i was going to follow through on my suicidal urges and wanted to rush me through so that i could get some REAL help..... i was so happy because i thought someone actually cared about me and how horrible everything inside my head has been getting, But OH!!!NO!!!!! as soon as they looked in my file again they saw the NO INSURANCE and called me and said that nope they could in no way schedule me for an appointment with a psyc doc but i could go to group.....And still with NO CHANCE at any help from meds or a treatment plan or ANY FUCKING THING AT ALL!!!!
 
so...im DONE