Ellocin

i'm too scared to go...and i ended up taking more loxapine... i don'tknow what to do...i'm just too much a chicken... what am i suppose to do...and how the hell am i suppose to do it...i wish i had...

I'm thinking of maybe going to the ER...I don't want to but I think that I might have to.  I'm scared though...I don't want to go alone but I have no one to go with me.  I'm suppose to be staying...

the crisis lines around here are freakin usless.  I'm miserable but they just told me to go watch tv.  Fuck like thats gonna do anything.  I just got back from the post office and mailed the swap...

i oded last night...on my loxapine...didn't do much except make me sleep for a good 17+ hours...feeling miserable...and to top it off my period started... gonna get up and go to the postoffice...

I think I'm having a flare.  I don't know...h*ll, I don't even know 100% if I have lupus so how am I suppose to know if this is a flare.  I just know my arms and legs are aching bad and feeling...

I'm feeling really really aggitated right now.  I feel so bad like giving into the urges and am trying so hard not to.  I want to cut so damn bad.   So much stupid little things going on right...

This is my all time favorite song.  If you ever have a chance to listen to the full version I highly recommend that you do.  You can hear a sample here:...

http://www.2000greetings.com/gecko.swf So cute!  At least something made me smile.  Have a sunshiney day! 

I don't want to deal with this anymore.  I feel like giving up.  Everything always goes downhill, goes wrong, gets too hard to cope with.  I feel like giving into the urges to od....I...

okay i'm really sick of being sick...i was up ALL night.  Fever, headache, coughing, sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes, aching legs and arms...it's just disgusting.  I couldn't sleep so i ordered...

This is something I did for a swap.  There are a bunch of different ones where we have to come up with a list of 100.  This is the first of them.  It's quite the activity and I'm glad I did...

I've got one nasty cold.  Coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose, wiping my eyes...it sure hit fast and hard. I ended up staying awake until about 8:30am or so, but that means I got to make my phone...

why do I get that darn energy burst when I've been drinking but it's nowhere to be found when I'm completely sober.....it's so annoying.  I want that energy without the drinking.  It's not like I'm...

I went to my appointment this morning.  I got up and bused in and got there very early.  That was a good thing though, the hospital had the fire alarm going off when I got there so had to wait in...

I'm realizing today just how much I've been drinking...also realized I'm scared to stop.  I am quite sure it's what's keeping me from feeling the depressed symptoms.  Once I stop I"m afraid I'll go...