Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Help my stop gambling

CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras

Every morning I wake up promising myself that I will not gamble. Every night I go to bed wishing that I hadn't. It's a cycle and I can't break it. So I'm going to try posting here to see if it can help me get out of this circle of betting, winning, betting, losing, betting, chasing, quitting, betting to win back some losses and then planning to quit for good, betting and winning, betting to win more since I'm now on a roll, losing, chasing to get back the winnings, losing it all, betting again, losing, chasing, quitting... The next word in the cycle is "betting," but I'm replacing it with "posting" and hope that can put an end to it. 



My vice is online sports. It's a combination of escaping from the day and the addiction to winning money. I've had a problem for 4 years now and it has escalated over the past 6 months. Before that, I was betting $300-$500 a week. It was a bad habit and I wanted to quit, but didn't. And then I discovered bitcoin as a way to fund my account. And the stakes went up. My deposits went up in both amount and frequency. In the last six months I have turned an intial deposits of $1000 into over $20,000 on five occasions, only to lose it all within 72 hours and repeating the process again and again. Of course, I always end up losing the $1000 deposit followed by losing the redposits in the chase. 



So today I stop. And I'm posting this both for your support and so I can read it the next time I have the urge. Hope to update this and track my progress. I want to stop. I need to stop. My first goal is one day, my second goal is 7 days. My third goal is 30 days. 


I hate being a compulsive gambler.


Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
Hi, I'm Robin, and I'm a complusive gambler. My game of choice was the stupid poker machines. Online betting is a mystery to me, thank God. But the addiction to gambling has brought me to my knees time and time again. I used it as an escape from life. I'd stay at a machine until my wallet was emptied and I had no more access to money. I never left with a win, it always went back into the machine. It stopped being fun for me years and years ago. My desire to quit is real. Coming here and writing about my addiction has really been a big help because of the feed back I get, and also to read about other's journeys to recovery.
How strange to think you don't even have to leave your home to gamble online. How strange and how sad. Could you power down your devices unless you really need them for something important? See, online gambling is something I don't understand. Tell us more about your addiction. Read our posts. Keep coming here. We understand.
itsjustmeagain
itsjustmeagain
i've been trying to professionally quit for 2 years, today is my 4th month of abstinence

it consumed me, as any addiction would, but there has to be a stopping moment of clarity that is received and the brain the healthy part stops and says "what am i doing" then you need to formulate a plan and hold on for dear life, keep busy, go to mtgs OR call in our wenesday mtgs, i will post and just listen, great people w/all the same ugly stories....hope you stick around
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Thank you both for your posts and support. I really appreciate knowing that I'm not alone. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the harm gambling has caused me and my family. And I still can't stop. I'm making a commitment to try. No betting today. Have to make it 30 days.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
I was as compulsive as anyone - 4 decades of gambling compulsively, I did not believe I could stop. Indeed, I needed help, I was suicidal, homicidal and emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially bankrupt. Hard work on childhood issues, unresolved grief, control issues, social issues, creating a relapse prevention plan, affirmations, journals, a goodbye to gambling letter, restructuring my life to include exercise, social contact, nature, artwork, healthy eating, meditation and solitude. I never gambled on line, knowing, I think, that it could/probably would get out of hand in a hurry. Some of the people in my face to face group have done the online gambling thing to the point of excruciating pain and found software that once installed on your device, will not allow gambling sites to be visited. It is software that one pays for but I understand it works, there is more than one but the only one I can remember is GamBloc, it might be worth a try for you. You might need someone else to install it so that you don't have a password for it and have the ability to turn it off/on. You certainly need to stem the bleeding. You might try working with your bank about limiting how much you can use your account for per day or looking into making it so your cards don't work on those sites. I understand some banks are more helpful than others.
I too had much damage to deal with from my gambling, but 2+ years of abstinence later, I am happier and healthier than I have ever been. It is possible to change, there is hope, and you are definitely not alone.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Thank you for this post. I am an addict. I can't stop, i have limited my bank charges online to $300 per day. But i still gamble that. I hate myself. I am such a terrible person. I'm a bad husband and a bad father. Why would I do this to my family? I set my password to my wagering account with my daughter's name. I hoped that would keep me from gambling. But it hasn't. Which tells you what a pitiful human being I am. I hate myself for being a compulsive gambler.
healing57
healing57
would you hate yourself if you had cancer? You have a disease. You could start going to ga meetings, see an addiction counselor, find a support group at church. you can do this and still gamble. If you go to enough meetings and have the desire to quit you will quit. You can cancel all your cards say they are lost and don't replace them, or give them right away when you get new ones to someone who won't give them to you. Put someone else in charge of your money for now. You are not a bad person, just sick, but you can get better. I used to feel the same way, but today is my 10 month anniversary for not gambling. If I can do it you can do it. I was the worst. I was living in hell and now I am living in recovery. But it doesn't happen by itself you have to do something to change the cycle. Today I will not gamble.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
You are not a bad person because you have a bad behavior and an addiction. You are sick not "bad". If you had diabetes and kept passing out because of low blood sugar it does not make you a bad husband or a bad dad, just a sick one. Your family would want you to get help. The same is true for this addiction. You are more than the sum of your past behavior. Your family needs you, sane and sober.
losergal
losergal
I believe in you. Gambling is not making you happy or content so make a list of the good and bad things it brings to your life.I'm here along with others who care,
Jan
Dee1969
Dee1969
Every night I go to bed, have panic attacks knowing I lost everything. I pray every night that I wont gamble anymore and to please make me strong. And then I wake up, and my mind tells me, today is the day, when we all know we will lose. Today Is my first day here, and tonight I tell my spouse that im addicted to gambling. Im scared and as I read all these comments from others to help me and to know im not alone.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
I go through the same thing. Every morning I'm certain. I'm done with gambling. Then, in the evening, I jump back into it. Go to bed disgusted with myself. Wake up certain that I'm done. Still can't make it through a single Day 1. 11 hours to go today. Trying to keep myself busy and not pay attention to any of the games. Let's see if today turns out any different.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
You must make a plan as to what else you will do instead of gambling. A list of 20 things that take less than 20 minutes that cost little or no money is a good tool to create. Most urges pass in 20 minutes. Here's a few suggestions: art work, photography, a walk, a bath, a manicure, exercise, phone a friend, prayer, visit a friend, use these/or not, add some more, but then do something different when you have the urge besides gamble. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Sometimes we need help to quit - I did. There is no shame in asking for help, while it seems a sign of weakness, it takes much strength to ask for help.
tohope4
tohope4
Hi, Everyone here is right your not alone, I'm not alone. We need to keep busy, take a walk, watch a movie, gardening, reading,. When it tough and it does get tough. Get out of the house, shopping, friends anything but the casino or the computer. Pick up the phone call the 800 number. You got this! It's hard I know I'm living it everyday. Stop blaming yourself.. stop being so hard on yourself. Things happen sometimes beyond your control. But if you want to make it stop.. it's up to you to stop it. I'm trying everyday. Some better then others. It's ok your not alone. Today I choose not to gamble.. ❤️
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Got through one day. One lousy day. Almost made it through day two. Got stressed by an argument and turned to my normal release (sports betting) to avoid dealing with life. And of course I lost. Again. Just looked at my account history. Have now lost 22 wagers in a row. Is that even possible!? Well, I'm back on day 1.
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
Life. Avoid it, or live it, it goes on either way. It's been 52 days, for me, without placing a bet. I'll admit that I've always had a problem living life on life's terms, especially when it involves conflict or disappointment. I never thought I I was he type of person to stick my head in the sand, but isn't that what avoiding life ends up being? And we not only end up temporarily avoiding the bad, but also completely missing out on the good. What a prison to live in! There is help. If we avoid gambling we can begin to experience life again, that includes learning to except conflict and pain as a natural part of living. No amount of sticking our heads in the sand is going to change that. But it also includes peace of mind. Ah, peace of mind, such a beautiful part of life.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
So it has been almost 20 days since my first post here and I still haven't made it more than 3 days without gambling. Latest slip up was yesterday when, after 2 gambling free days, I made one deposit and had yet another near miss (missed one game in my parlay which would have won $7500). The only bright side is that I didn't redposit after I lost. I stopped. I guess I'm getting used to losing so no longer getting mad about the near misses. So Day 1 again. Hoping to make it through this week gambling free. Started private therapy last week. Hope that will help.