Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Every morning I wake up promising myself that I will not gamble. Every night I go to bed wishing that I hadn't. It's a cycle and I can't break it. So I'm going to try posting here to see if it can help me get out of this circle of betting, winning, betting, losing, betting, chasing, quitting, betting to win back some losses and then planning to quit for good, betting and winning, betting to win more since I'm now on a roll, losing, chasing to get back the winnings, losing it all, betting again, losing, chasing, quitting... The next word in the cycle is "betting," but I'm replacing it with "posting" and hope that can put an end to it.
My vice is online sports. It's a combination of escaping from the day and the addiction to winning money. I've had a problem for 4 years now and it has escalated over the past 6 months. Before that, I was betting $300-$500 a week. It was a bad habit and I wanted to quit, but didn't. And then I discovered bitcoin as a way to fund my account. And the stakes went up. My deposits went up in both amount and frequency. In the last six months I have turned an intial deposits of $1000 into over $20,000 on five occasions, only to lose it all within 72 hours and repeating the process again and again. Of course, I always end up losing the $1000 deposit followed by losing the redposits in the chase.
So today I stop. And I'm posting this both for your support and so I can read it the next time I have the urge. Hope to update this and track my progress. I want to stop. I need to stop. My first goal is one day, my second goal is 7 days. My third goal is 30 days.
I hate being a compulsive gambler.
If you find that watching the games is hard, or stirs up too many emotions, you may need to walk away. Have a back up plan in place in case that does happen. The stress from your debt is going to be a potential trigger for a relapse for a long time. You need to come up with a plan to address that before it happens as well. A fire extinguisher is only useful if you have it before the fire starts. Remember that. Failing to have a plan for the stress, anxiety and temptation is dangerous and could jeopardize all your progress.
You're doing great though, keep it up. Don't get discouraged. You've come a long way in 90 days!
14 weeks now without a wager! I'll hit Day 100 on Tuesday.
Some of us can't gamble. It's 1% of the population, but if you're in that 1%, like me, it is what it is. No dabbling. No toe in the water. Gambling is off limits. We need to get it out of our system, out of our routine. Avoidance isn't the answer. Ignoring your debts isn't the answer. Not talking about it isn't the answer. The answer is time and abstinence. The more time, the more abstinence, the more the mind is able to function without gambling. It's a process that requires commitment and honestly. You can do it. Follow the science and you'll be ok.
Today I will not gamble