Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Help my stop gambling

CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras

Every morning I wake up promising myself that I will not gamble. Every night I go to bed wishing that I hadn't. It's a cycle and I can't break it. So I'm going to try posting here to see if it can help me get out of this circle of betting, winning, betting, losing, betting, chasing, quitting, betting to win back some losses and then planning to quit for good, betting and winning, betting to win more since I'm now on a roll, losing, chasing to get back the winnings, losing it all, betting again, losing, chasing, quitting... The next word in the cycle is "betting," but I'm replacing it with "posting" and hope that can put an end to it. 



My vice is online sports. It's a combination of escaping from the day and the addiction to winning money. I've had a problem for 4 years now and it has escalated over the past 6 months. Before that, I was betting $300-$500 a week. It was a bad habit and I wanted to quit, but didn't. And then I discovered bitcoin as a way to fund my account. And the stakes went up. My deposits went up in both amount and frequency. In the last six months I have turned an intial deposits of $1000 into over $20,000 on five occasions, only to lose it all within 72 hours and repeating the process again and again. Of course, I always end up losing the $1000 deposit followed by losing the redposits in the chase. 



So today I stop. And I'm posting this both for your support and so I can read it the next time I have the urge. Hope to update this and track my progress. I want to stop. I need to stop. My first goal is one day, my second goal is 7 days. My third goal is 30 days. 


I hate being a compulsive gambler.


skip88
skip88
Know it sounds brutal but missing that parlay was best for you. Just more fuel for the fire. More bullets to fire. Forget the damn games, stop looking at the lines, and get your life back. I was a big time sports bettor for years and understand the addiction. What you need to know is no matter what you win does not matter because you will eventually lose all that and much more. You care more about playing, winning or losing is not that important. Try harder and God Bless.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Missed another parlay yesterday by 1 point. If the Clippers don't foul with 1 second left in the half, would have won $4500. This morning I woke up at 4 am angry with myself at how I have hurt my family with my gambling. Because of my selfish gambling, I have deprived them of so much that they deserve. I closed all my wagering accounts and self-excluded. I closed my Bitcoin account to prevent funding. If I get the itch to gamble, and forget about my thoughts this morning, this should prevent me from doing so. This should shut the door on gambling for me. I now have no access so I hope the thoughts and desire will fade. I've also started with professional therapy so hope that will help too. If I can stay gamble free, I can dig out of my financial hole in 14 months. I can do this. I must do this.
NoMoreOneTimers
NoMoreOneTimers
One day at a time.

One day at a time is a phrase that Gamblers Anonymous uses. Have you tried Gamblers Anonymous? Go to an in person meeting. Go to as many meetings as possible per week. You can look up meeting locations & times on their website:
gamblersanonymus.org

GA also has a free, phone in meeting every Wednesday night at 9:00 PM EST. The phone number is (712) 770-4160 and when prompted enter access code 611704#

No Money = No Gambling. Period. Get rid of all access to money.. online and off line. If you don't have access to money you can't gamble. Have your spouse or a trusted family member or friend handle your finances until your recovery has reached a point where you feel you can trust yourself with money again.

Recovery is work. You have to work at it...by implementing strategies that I and other gambling addicts in recovery have suggested to you. You won't be successful in becoming & staying gamble free unless you truly have the desire to stop gambling & begin working on your recovery.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
I am so relieved to be making it through today with relative ease. Deleting my bitcoin account and knowing that there is no way to fund my sports wagering account (which I also closed) appears to have put up some really good barriers in place. I probably have no way to access the remaining $400 in the account, but that's fine. Paying $400 to stop gambling and finally put my hard earned income towards my family's needs is a gift. Wish I did this 6 months ago, 1 year ago, or even 3 years ago. Don't want to get cocky about this but so relieved that the temptation to gamble is limited. To reactivate my bitcoin account, I need to wait 3 days. Plus, my sports wagering account is also closed, so another hurdle I would need to figure out a way to overcome. So no way to gamble immediately. Score one for the guy trying to beat his addiction! Finally.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
About to go to bed. Made it through Day 2. Even though I want to wager on the games I know I can't since my bitcoin account is shutdown and I can't reactivate without a 3 day delay for processing. Very helpful not being able to instantaneously place bets. This is the best I've felt in months about my odds on not gambling. Going remarkably well. Hoping I can keep it up tomorrow. One day at a time.
skip88
skip88
It's tough for a while but will get easier. You have to want this like you are fighting for your life, which you are.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Thanks. Woke up to realize I made it through Day 3. Now on Day 4. So glad to have blocked access/ability to fund wagering account. Makes it easier to deal with impulses and let them pass. Fog feels like it's clearing a little. Not waking up thinking about last night's missed free throws or tonight's spreads. Instead, thinking about what I have to do with my work day today. I can do this.
joycatcher
joycatcher
please get to a GA meeting

lamenting your losses (4/23) is so dangerous. you may think it's about the money-- but it isn't. it's the action. we all won. we just didn't stop. your brain has been brain jacked -- you are not in your "right mind". it will take a few months but you have to someone stop in order to get some sense back. GA will help.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Today is Day 7! First full week for me in 8 months. Hard to believe. Feeling very guilty today at how much I have gambled. How much I have lost. How much I have hurt my family by both not providing them with things they deserve and being emotionally unavailable when I'm fixated on a game. Wish this never happened. I hate myself for being a compulsive gambler. I hate myself for being a gambler. The thought of placing another wager makes me sick. I even feel sick when I see a game on. Hoping the feelings of guilt will dissipate because that's what's keeping me up at night right now. Not the lack of gambling, but the regret at what I have done and where I am now as a result.
skip88
skip88
Way to go! Everything you are feeling now is normal, all the guilt feelings and remorse. Try to focus on just today and forget the past, just history. Do not even think about looking at lines for that will make you mind bet. If you win you will regret not playing it and if you lose it will feel like a win for not playing it. A NO-WIN situation. Forget the damn games, they are just games and in the big picture mean nothing. Just today and the rest of your life matter, rebuilding trust, and making up for lost time. Money will never make you happy by gambling. It was just a commodity we used to gamble with. Most of us hated to spend it on "normal" things so we could stash it away to feed our addiction. How sick.....God Bless
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
I hope the therapy has helped you. No matter what, we can't give up. The addiction doesn't care about our near misses, it only cares that we feed it. It's so weird how the bet gets larger and larger in an attempt to feel anything at all, even a near miss. We're talking about money here, losing it, for what? Isn't is crazy? We don't have to gamble if we don't want to. No one makes us bang our heads against the wall, we do it to ourselves, because we're addicts. Seriously, I'm only speaking for myself, no one else can call you an addict. But, you know it, when you know it. Nothing can change that. For me, I have a stronger desire to begin to trust myself, I got so sick of lying to myself. So today I will not gamble. I choose me today.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Couldn't do it. Couldn't stay gambling free. Wagered on both Friday and yesterday. Why can't I stop? Back on day 1. Spent this morning trying to assess the damage. Putting up more barriers such as blocks on online deposits. I wish this were all just a bad dream and I could go back in time 3 years ago and do things differently.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
Made it through Day 1. It was a hard Day 1. Had the urge. Couldn't shake it. Only thing that kept me from gambling was block on online deposit that I placed in the morning.. Kept trying to figure out a way around it. Finally gave up and went to bed. Woke up relieved I didn't gamble yesterday. This gambling has a real vice hold on me. Now on Day 2.
CrookedZebras
CrookedZebras
One more hour to make it through Day 3.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
Cutting off access to money is more effective than self banning, if you REALLY cut off ALL access. It is our vehicle to gambling. We cannot do it without money.