Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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pemdcat 12/23/2009

on the matter regarding a dating relationship. i have been dating a woman for a out 3 months, and she is starting to dictate who my friends are. I have a female friend that is like a sister to me and I am now being told that I talk to and visit her way to much. C (the lady I am dating) doesn't have a problem if I hang out with my guy friends and do whatever..... but she doesn't believe that males and females can be friends with out hanky panky going on.......Several women on the boad know me, and we have hung out at some meetups......I consider them as friends and can talk and visit, the feel as if they are family. This seems like she is asking me to give up family.....and I am fairly sure the next step will be to not hang with the guy friends...... and then family....I have
DUNN that and I will never do that again.......Am I being paranoid?

All opinions welcomed......I think I may be about to become a monk..... Naw I like people to much......

thanks
AJJ.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

OMG does anyone else feel like they need a drink? Cough syrup anyone? It has been far too long that I have done this stuff to know whether I am up or down so I am going to bow (verb) out . LOL.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

so then how does it get in the way of anything that IS action, like being with a friend???????

deleted_user 12/23/2009

wait, that would be thought as a noun, not a doing word...like a big boulder in the middle of the room only one of you can see.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

or for some people maybe, little pebbles

deleted_user 12/23/2009

Posting to the original question.

Pem, this is a balance, and something that should be discussed between you two. There are, or could be potentially destructive, or even perceived destruction in continuing these friendships. How much does this woman mean to you, as opposed to these friendships? Is there a meeting point between the two? Both in the same social circle? Meeting one another, thereby eliminating any potential threat, yet making way for just a genuine dislike.

I am not saying you have to choose, but you have to either call it completely unacceptable, and dump girlfriend, or pose it to her, and ask how do we solve this, and get you to a comfort level without me losing a friend.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

I'm just gonna say - I was in an awful marriage. It was so empty it echoed. Looking back, I was probably a walking zombie. And, I had LOTS of male friends. Probably mostly male friends because of golf. As bad as it was, I never once thought of cheating on my ex. I did think of leaving him - lots and lots and lots. But cheating on him? Nope.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

And remember guys, he did mention other "red flags too numerous to mention". So, it's not just this - there are other things about the relationship that aren't sitting right with Pem

deleted_user 12/23/2009

I prefer to think of it as an elephant in the middle of my room.

deleted_user 12/23/2009

Rote,

We should golf sometime. I didn't know you were a golfer.

Just friends. ;)

deleted_user 12/23/2009

Anyone that sent a text to me and I did not answer within a specific amount of time and that elicited a swarm of text is not someone I want to deal with. There are a boat load of red flags with the relationship. It just depends if you want to float or sink. I prefer to take my life jacket and swim..
Joy, even when you have pneumonia and are soooo uber sick, yous so smart. I'm kind of crushing on you;-) lol

FrankTheGreat 12/23/2009

Your being disingenuous, Joy. Of course thoughts can interfere with action. If I'm having sex with my wife but I'm fantasizing about the boy down the street, you want me to believe you don't see how thought interferes with action?

deleted_user 12/23/2009

Yeah, Bernie!! You wanna meet on the border? What's your handicap?

deleted_user 12/23/2009

I'm a 4.5

deleted_user 12/23/2009

We'll talk in the spring. Lot's of great courses around the border.

FrankTheGreat 12/23/2009

Sure. Go "golfing.". I wanna go "golfing."

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