Seems like you both hit triggers. I don't know if you feel that she is worth the effort or not (that's purely your call), but I agree with Bernie on this one. At least she opened up and told you flat out that this bothered her, rather than manipulate or stew in the situation. You are still getting to know one another and dialogue is key.

I have more male friends than female friends. I am not willing to give up any of them for any guy I may be seeing. It seems like she is insecure. Yeah, our past generally haunts us a little bit, but if it is affecting her to the point that she wants you to drop a close friend just because she is female, there is an issue. Then again, my stbx is sleeping with my former best friend. It could go either way. You need to decide what is more important to you. Keeping your relationship with her, or keeping your friends that YOU choose.

Do you really think these men would be your friends if you were a man? I don't.

Granted, the whole "control" issue is the larger one for me.

i've already told you on the phone

red flags red flags red flags

time for a road trip - that must really boggle her mind

*evil snicker*

Big trigger like as big as the one the lone ranger rode......My ex managed to drive a wedge between me my friends and my family..I did not see some of my family for 3 years at her urging...... Am I looking for an out....I have seen enough red lags that yes I thinking I am..... I just want to be sure that it is not just me...... they're many other red flags that I possibly could deal with.....but the longer we are together the more flags pop up, bigger and redder....

msmsde Yep I remember and .......a road trip........ RED FLAG the size of Texas when that subject comes up......

*wiggling eyebrows* gonna start working on sober driver for mardi gras..i gots me a idea how to make it work

(psssssssst st louis has the biggest mardi gras celebration after new orleans) and NO we aint going to a stinkin party

She needs to deal with her own insecurity. This is a issue she would have to in the long run deal with in any relationship she was to get into.

If she really wanted to be with you she needs to be able to accept you and all your friends. Introducing her to your friends may help but also she needs to understand she can't be joined at the hip. She has to have enough faith in you.

Personally if I was involved in a relationship and really trusted someone I wouldn't care what gender their friends were. The trust has to be with that person I was dating not there friends. I would expect the person I dated to care for me enough to involve me with his friend, At the same time I would want them to have their own space as I would myself want.

In the end it's a leap of faith, you are either willing to do it for not. Yes trusting someone like that can get you hurt. If you can't trust someone you truly care you needs to try and figure out why. Is it because of the person they are dating or their own personal demon.

Frank - are you serious???

I have had a few men friends for more than 20 years - we hang out, their families are like family to me, I was at their weddings; when I show up or they are in town their wives send me hugs and tell me to "keep an eye on him" and one of them is an ex boyfriend from my youth. When his Mother died his wife called me and asked me to stay with them as she said "I was the only one who could help him through it." I assured her she was all he needed. I adore her and am so glad he found a woman he deserves.

Women and men can certainly be friends and nothing more.

Pemcat - I would be more concerned that she thinks anyone can decide for you what order the people in your life should be placed, or that the love you feel for others should even be prioritized at all.

I once had a man that was interested in me and knew that I had a male friend tell me that men and women could not be friends either, and it turned out that he could not be friends with woman as he always saw them as sex objects.
I have a male friend and I have female friends. I am capable of that.
My ex drove a huge wedge in between my daughters, my friends, and my social life. That is a huge indication for the future and not one I am willing to take.

Yes, Jo. I am. If you think those guys are treating you the same regardless of whether you're a woman, you're kidding yourself.

As John Travolta said to Sam Jackson in "Pulp Fiction," "Would you give ME a foot massage?"

Jack -

I've got to join the others - the red flags are waving all over the place.

Control, control, control - not a good thing.

My sbtx couldn't understand my relationship with my female best friend - even going so far as accusing us of having a sexual relationship! And then there was my "twin" from high school - happily married with two adopted kids and my ex was convinced we must be having an affair.

Run, beloved kitty, run!

Lynne

Run screaming into the night - alone!

As you are only dating this woman (and only 3 months at that), I would be scared off by her picking and choosing her friends for you.

That said, if this were a longer term, monogamous, serious, committed relationship, I would probably side with Frank on the whole "men and women as friends" thing.

Being treated like a woman by a friend doesn't mean we aren't just friends. My women friends don't treat me like I'm a dude either.

I find it rather sad you don't think men and women can be friends, Frank. Does that mean every women in your life is either a fuck, a potential fuck or a no one because you don't want to fuck her?