thestruggleisreal

Tomorrow's the big day! I'm going to the doctor. Praying for good news, praying for the courage to do so praying that everything goes great! I am feeling hella anxious. Trying not to think about it...

So! I want to say it's been about a year since I've gotten up the courage to go to the doctor. Well I finally found what I think to be a good doctor, I've been going to a different dr everytime and...

I'm back at it! Starting to feel more positive, motivated! It's weird how this came to be. About 3 years ago (Which in my opinion does NOT matter, how long ago) My then boyfriend who I was living...

So as of lately I've had a horrible sleep schedule. I either can't sleep or I sleep all day and all night. Right now it's 5:43 AM, I woke up at 5 to go to the bathroom and now my mind is jst racing...

I've been a lil scared lately. I just feel like I was barley holding on to my sanity before losing my Mikey. Now I just feel like that was the thing to push me over the edge. I don't know quite what...

It's been a cold, rainy, gloomy day. I've been sleeping most of the day, off and on. It's going on 5 PM and I barley ate for the first time today, some soup. Now I'm going to make some tea and watch...

Today was a veryyyy hard day. But through the grace of God, I made it. Mikey's service was beautiful, so much love. He impacted so many lives! It was so hard to say my final goodbye but to know he's...

Man I don't want to die. But I'm so fuckin scared right now. My heart hurts, I can't breath, I'm scared, Idk how to stop these negative thoughts that are just flooding my brain. I keep playing what...

 I still can't believe this happened. Sometimes I find myself feeling angry. I woke up this morning hoping this was all just a bad dream, only to realize it's not. My heart hurts. I cried again...

I'm still trying to process what has happened today. My cousin Mikey was called home to heaven this morning. God needed an angel and that's exactly what he was. We had an angel on earth for 35 years....

I got the best news I could ask for! Turned my whole day around! Mikey has improved immensely just over night!!!! They took his ventilator out, he's responding, the fluid that his body was retaining...

It's now 7:21 PM and I'm still feeling anxious for absolutely no reason. I've been laying in bed all day watching Netflix feeling like at any moment I could have an anxiety attack but haven't. Didn't...

Today's been a good day so far. Got a good workout in, feeling sore already but it feels good! Cleaned, gave my furrbaby a hair cut (which btw is not easy because he hates it lol) But I can't help...

Today has actually been a pretty good day!! I only had one anxiety attack and I was able to calm myself down pretty quickly! I've spent the day with my niece who just turned three!!! Her and her lil...

today started out ok, but like always it turned into a bad day. Anxiety attacks. My back is in so much pain. I feel completely alone. I feel like going to bed and never waking up again. I'm tired of...