So! I want to say it's been about a year since I've gotten up the courage to go to the doctor. Well I finally found what I think to be a good doctor, I've been going to a different dr everytime and everyone of em just want to use me as gini pig. prescribe me something different every time. 
That being said I have hope this time. Even though I can feel my anxiety building up. I have to keep telling myself that it's going to help me a great deal! I pray that this is my big "break" trying to keep faith. speaking positively! I have a good feeling about this! I have to try and remind myself that it's not going to just happen over night but it WILL happen!!!!!