neliss

Today I was watching Billy Elliot while doing some work and, of course, as it always does, it made me cry (I usually start at the bit where the dad breaks the picket line and pretty much keep going...

I had plans for today. Nothing major but I was going to take the day for myself. Plan my classes for the week, do some writing, do stuff for my Spanish class and play some music. Instead I lay in bed...

I feel like a bit of a fraud being on this site. I don't have any tragic back stories that explain why I am so miserable. My parents are both alive and we have a loving relationship, I have some good...

I made an effort this weekend to see friends and get out of the house. It's hard to do this even though I know it's healthier for me. I naturally seem to isolate myself and am always reluctant to...

OK today. I'm always better once I get into class but couldn't get out of bed this morning. Skipped my Spanish lessons and went back to lying with the covers over my head, not even sleeping because...

Feeling lonely this weekend. Went for a long walk to try and clear my head but it didn't work. I'm cutting myself off again and I don't know why. Weeks are not so bad - work keeps me going - but...

So after a few days of being buoyed up by the stress of finding my way around and getting used to a new job, I've started to sink back down again. Slowly, but sinking nonetheless. Not as bad as...

I've been away from here for a few days now, trying to get my head straight and figure stuff out. I've moved to another city and started a new job and am trying to look on this as a way to make a...

I don't know where the despair comes from. I'm OK, coping or at least not feeling, and then all of a sudden, I'm crying and hopeless again. Full of hopelessness, self-loathing, no motivation. Just...

So I was alone at midnight but probably better that way. I've ended this year in a place I didn't want to ever be again and I'm determined that I will not be in the same place next year.Lots of...

I'm grateful for the numb days, the days when I think I might be coming out of the fog, but then when I fall back down again, it seems that life is laughing at me. I am not a good person. I am...

Reading some of the other entries on here, I'm starting to realise that my paranoia is also a symptom of my feelings. I'm constantly terrified people are going to die (myself included). If my niece...

So I've spent the day battling back tears, having to rush off to my room to cry and then wipe them away and go back. Every time I think things are getting better, they head back down again. I'm...

today isn't a good day for me after a few days of feeling on an even keel. Tears welling up all the time, feeling anxious for no reason, imagining terrible situations and wallowing in those thoughts....

         I've reached a numbness which is at least a welcome break from the crying. But now I have a few days on my own which could give me a chance to get my head straight before heading...