today isn't a good day for me after a few days of feeling on an even keel. Tears welling up all the time, feeling anxious for no reason, imagining terrible situations and wallowing in those thoughts. Want to crawl into bed and hide myself away.
The mood swings are getting bad - from apathy and numbness to hysterical crying in a few minutes, then finally back to nothing again. I feel out of control in everything. I don\'t know what to do to make it right. I feel like I\'m grasping at something that will never be there. Sometimes I fight it but there are times when I can\'t - almost like I don\'t want to, like I get some satisfaction from the pain. I wish I could be normal but I think I\'m forgetting how... If I could physically cut this part of me out, I would do it now. Get rid of this sadness, paranoia and self-loathing
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The mood swings are getting bad - from apathy and numbness to hysterical crying in a few minutes, then finally back to nothing again. I feel out of control in everything. I don\'t know what to do to make it right. I feel like I\'m grasping at something that will never be there. Sometimes I fight it but there are times when I can\'t - almost like I don\'t want to, like I get some satisfaction from the pain. I wish I could be normal but I think I\'m forgetting how... If I could physically cut this part of me out, I would do it now. Get rid of this sadness, paranoia and self-loathing